You can t stop the beat
by Linneagb
Summary: If I don t let anyone come close to me, then I won t have anything to lose. That was what I used to say.Then I met the Cullens, and they just wouldn t leave me alone. A/N English is not my first language. Not a slash story. rated T for alcohol, children abuse and minor swearing
1. Meeting the cullens

"I really need you tonight…" The music played in my earplugs. I jumped up in the air, and tried to spin in the air. When pain flashed through my leg, and I landed on the ice, stumbled and fell. I sat up again, straight away. I could see blood dripping from my right leg to the ice.

"Oh, crap." I whispered when I saw where the blood came from. The blade on my left skate had cut right through my tights, and deep into the leg. I wasn´t an expert, but even I saw that it needed stitches. I stood up again, and skated to the bench, were I had left my sweat pants and my shoes. The skating hall was empty, so no one wondered why I was limping so badly. I was grateful for that, the only thing I needed right now, was to safely get to the hospital. This lay just about a mile away.

I pulled my sweat pants over my tights, and switched my skates to my shoes. Then I hung my skates over my shoulder and started to walk. Two jumps on my left leg, one on my right, two on my left… It worked out more than half the way, when I stumbled and fell to the ground on the roadside. I hoped that no one would drive pass, before I got up. But before I stood on my own two feet, I could hear a car coming closer, I looked up, and saw a black car braking just in front of me. Then a man, I recognized as Dr. Carlisle Cullen from the city hospital came running.

"What happened here?" He squatted down next to me.

"Cut my leg on the blade on my skate." I said. "I tried to get to the hospital. But it wasn´t as easy as I though it would be."

"Let me see." I pulled up my sweat pants up so he could see the gash.

"Yep, that definitely needs to be sewed up. If you want to, you can come with me, and I can do it in my office at home. It´s closer to drive there than to drive back to the hospital"

"Sure"

"Come on then." He laid his arm under mine, and helped me to stand up. When we sat in the car, and he had started to drive. He picked up his phone.

"Hi Edward" he said in his phone. "Is Jaz at home?.. Yes, I´m bringing a patients home, she needs stitches… yes, if you could just. Thanks." He hung up. He must have seen my glares because a few seconds later he said.

"One of my foster children,., Jasper, he doesn´t like blood. So, if he´s at home now, and see your leg, he´ll probably either faint or barf… or both." He laughed a little and I smiled, and looked out the window.

"Sorry…" Dr. Cullen began. "What did you say your name was?"

"Oh, sorry Dr." I began. "It´s Jamie sir, Jamie Dylan." Dr. Cullen nodded slightly, and then said.

"Well, I´m Dr. Carlisle Cullen, but don´t sir or doctor me, it´s Carlisle."

"Okay si… Carlisle"

"And we´re there." He drove onto a driveway in front of a big house, at the end of the road.

"Here" He held out his arm for support but I shook my head.

"It´s fine, I can walk on my own." I limped after Carlisle to the door, and inside.

"Everyone, this is Jamie Dylan." We walked into some sort or living room. "Jamie this is my wife Esme, and our foster children Alice, Bella, Nessie, Emmet, Alice and Rosalie. We have also got Edward and Jasper, who isn´t here right now." I nodded and repeated the names in my head, trying to memorize which one that had got which name. Alice stood up and came towards me. She stretched her arms out, probably to give me a hug. But that was definitely, not what I thought what I thought she would do.

"NO." I jumped backwards, and immediately, I ended up on the floor, with pain flashing through my leg again.

"Aoo," I whimpered quietly.

"You´re ok? What happened?" Alice seemed terrified.

"I´m… I´m fine, just… just…" I didn´t really know what to say. I sat up.

"There´s no need to be afraid of Alice." Esme helped me to stand up. "She´s one of the most kind and caring persons I know."

"I´m not afraid of her." I said a bit shyly. "It´s just… I´m just… I was just… reminded of something."

"Wh…" Nessie looked curious. But Carlisle interrupted.

"You´ve got a really bad gash on your leg, "he laid his hand on my shoulder. "We better go and get it sewed."

"Yes, of… of course." I walked after Carlisle, and he held up a door for me. And closed the door behind us.

"Sit," he pointed at the desk.

"O…kay." I sat down on the desktop, while he got the equipment he needed. He sat down on his chair, and told me to put my leg on his lap.

"Your hands always this cold?" I asked, when he started sewing. He smiled a little.

"Yeah, kind of." I was curious, but I didn´t ask anything else, I didn´t wanna be too sneaky. And during the rest of the time, no one said a word.

When we came out in the living room again, Nessie sat by the piano, trying to play a song. She didn´t really hit the right notes, and a man, I hadn´t seen before sat beside her. Trying to show her the right ones.

"Can I try?" I asked without thinking. I regret it straight away. Who was I? A stranger coming to their house, and ask if she could play the piano. The man turned around.

"Sure," he stood up. "I haven´t seen you here before. I´m Edward."

"Jamie, but… I… I probably should go now." I headed towards the door.

"You can´t go without playing the piano." Edward said. "Come on, we´ll listen."

"I probably…"

"Oh please, pleaeaease" Nessie showed me a big smile.

"I can´t say no when you´re looking at me like that." I smiled and sat down by the piano. "This is my favorite song." I laid my hands on the piano and started playing.

**So... yeah, as I´ve told you, English is not my first language. I´m from Sweden. So if you see any grammar faults or something else like that. Please tell me, it´ll help me to get better. The song that Jamie had in her earplugs in the beginning was Total eclipse of the heart by Bonnie Tyler. :) Please review, it makes my day. **


	2. Reactions

**So… hey, well. I´ve read through the last chapter. And I saw that everyone seem all callous, and weird. So I´ll try to improve that.**

**I also know that some of the vampires of the twilight saga is supposed to have these special gifts. You know, Edward read minds, Alice see future. So, I found out that if they have these gifts in this story, it´s going to be easy for them to know what Jamie´s secret is. And that would be boring, don´t you think? So, that is why I decided, to just pretend that none of the Cullens have no special gifts. If you don´t like it, don´t read it, and just let me do it my way.**

_"You've got the words to change a nation  
But you're biting your tongue  
You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence  
Afraid you'll say something wrong  
If no one ever hears it  
How we gonna learn your song  
So come on, come on  
Come on, on_

_You've got a heart as loud as lions  
so why let your voice be tamed  
Maybe we´re a little different  
there's no need to be ashamed  
You've got the light to fight the shadows  
so stop hiding it away  
Come on, come on_

_I wanna sing  
I wanna shout  
I wanna scream til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it  
Read all about it  
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh  
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_

_At night we waking up the neighbours  
while we sing away the blues  
Making sure that we´re remembered  
cos we all matter too  
If the truth has been forbidden  
then we´re breaking all the rules  
So come on, come on  
Come on, come on_

_Lets get the TV and the radio  
to play our tune again  
Its 'bout time we got some air play of our version of events  
There's no need to be afraid  
I will sing with you my friend  
Come on, come on_

_I wanna sing  
I wanna shout  
I wanna scream til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it  
Read all about it  
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh  
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_

_Yeah we´re all wonderful, wonderful people  
So when did we all get so fearful  
Now were finally finding out voices  
So take a chance, some help me sing this_

_Yeah we´re all wonderful, wonderful people  
So when did we all get so fearful  
Now were finally finding out voices  
So take a chance, some help me sing this_

_I wanna sing  
I wanna shout  
I wanna scream til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it  
Read all about it  
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh  
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_

_I wanna sing  
I wanna shout  
I wanna scream til the words dry out  
So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid  
They can read all about it"_

I didn´t look up anything while I was singing, and playing the piano. That´s why I couldn´t see the reactions. But there were reactions. Edward had sat down on the floor, with his back against a wall. Nessie and Bella sat on either side of him. With their heads on either side of his chest. Edward had his arms around their shoulders. Carlisle and Esme stood beside the piano. Carlisle held his arms around Esme´s shoulders, slowly rocking her back and forth, Emmett held Rosalie the same way, Alice had sat down next to me on the piano chair.

"Read all about it oh" I let the last tone ring out, before looking up. It was all quiet. Which was, in my head, really not a good thing. I bent down and reached for my skates

"I… probably should go home… now." I stood up and hang the skates over my shoulder.

"Jamie.." Esme showed me to sit down again. And I did as I was told, and put the skates on the floor again.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, almost as a reflex. "Whatever I did… I´m sorry."

"No," Carlisle still had his arm around Esme´s shoulders. "That was extraordinary good, I´ve never heard such a voice."

"Thanks." I almost whispered. "But… I really… I really think I…" I looked at my watch. "HOLY SHIT… It´s five thirty, I really, really, really need to go now." I stood up and headed towards the stairs. Then I headed to one direction.

"WRONG WAY" I could hear Emmett scream from downstairs.

"I KNEW THAT" I shouted back and spinned around. "I was just gonna check if you noticed." I leaned over the stair railing when I said that last.

**Carlisle pov, after Jamie left.**

"Aw, she was sweet" My beloved one said about Jamie, when we had heard the door close.

"She was." Bella agreed.

"Did you see how she reacted on compliments?" I thought out loud.

"yeah," Esme and I sat down in the sofa. "She´s a bit shy."

"There is something up with that girl" I said.

"What could that be?" Esme asked.

"I don´t know… but I´m gonna find out. And it´s definitely not good."

**Jamie´s pov**

I ran towards my street. Not caring about the burning pain in my leg. I had ran almost halfway when I realized. I had forgotten my skates.

"Never mind." I whispered to myself. "I´ll go get them tomorrow. I don´t have time now." I ran up to our door and opened it.

"Hiya dad." I shouted. "Had a good day?"

"Hi Jamie," I could hear a voice from the kitchen. But it wasn´t my dad´s.

"Oh shit." I thought to myself. "It´s Wednesday, dad´s brought some of his friends over to watch the game." I sighed, and walked out in the kitchen. Mentally preparing for another night in the living hell.


	3. Pain

**So, in this chapter, it´s going to turn out that the Cullen´s have moved from forks.**

"Dad?" I walked out in the kitchen, where dad and his friends sat around the table. "Where´s mum?"

"Upstairs." I nodded, jogged across the living room and up the stairs.

"Mum?" slowly I opened the door to mum´s room. "Mum, are you in here?" I stepped into the room and walked around the bed. I could see she was awake, she had her eyes open, but as usual she was just staring, in the air. Like she didn´t see or hear anything.

" I went to the skating hall today." I sat down on the mattress, and took mum´s hand in mine. "I cut my leg on the blade on the skate. And when I was on my way to the hospital, to get it sewed. Dr. Cullen drove past. I got to follow him home. He sewed the gash, and then I got to meet his family. They were really nice." I looked down at mum again. She still looked like she didn´t hear what I was saying, she still acted like she didn´t even know I was there. I stood up again, and went downstairs.

"How was mum today?" dad asked when I came downstairs. I shrugged.

"Dad, she needs help." I said. "She really does. She´s been like this for two years now. It´s not normal."

"Don´t talk about your mum like that. She had a rough time a few years ago, and it´s not your decision to make."

"Well, I had a rough time too, but I didn´t get mental. And I really didn´t start drinking like you." Dad stood up, I knew what was coming. He took a grip of my shirt, lifted me up, held his face clothes to mine and said.

"I´ll deal with you later." He threw me down on the floor. "And you´re late, go to the basement and get us some beers."

"Yes dad." I stood up again, and rushed out of the room. Why could I never keep my big fat mouth shut. Now I would spend the whole night, serving dad and his friends, and what would happen when they´d left. I didn´t even wanna think about that.

**Twelve hours later**

I slowly began to open my eyes; I was on the floor in the living room. My whole body hurted, and rolled over to my left side, and lifted my head a little, looking at the big watch in the kitchen. Six am, dad´s last friend had left at about four thirty… which meant… that about one hour of unconsciousness was the only sleep I would get tonight. I sat up, slowly. Every movement was stiff and slow. I got up on my feet, and stumbled towards the wall, but I managed to stay on my feet, and limp to the bathroom. Just switching my blood- strained T-shirt to another; clean T-shirt took me more than ten minutes. Then everything went on like most mornings did for me. Check my injuries, this time it seemed like I had one big black eye, which covered about one third of my face, one broken rib, and big, soar bruises on my arms and stomach. Then, put on some clothes and make up that can cover the injuries, make soup for mum, and go upstairs. Feed her with the soup, make a sandwich for myself and then walk to the bus stop. I stood at the bus stop, eating my sandwich. It was windy and I almost shook out of cold. I tried to pull the jacket a bit closer around me, but the wind blew right through it. Oh the sweet life of Maine in November. I had just started hack turns, when the bus finally arrived and I stepped into it. Loads of people sat on the bus, so I sat down next to someone I didn´t know, I thought.

"Jamie?" I could suddenly hear from my left, and I looked at the person that I had sat down next to.

"Jamie Dylan?" she asked me.

"Yes…" I said, a bit unsecure.

"Don´t you recognize me? It´s Bonnie Taylor. You used to play with my kids when you were little, do you remember? Rosie and Mary"  
"Oh yeah, yeah now I remember" I thought back when I was about six or seven years old and played hide and seek and other games with the Taylor- twins.

"Look at you" Bonnie continued. "You´ve grown so much, haven´t you?"

"Probably, I mean. I was only seven when I played with the twins, and now I´m almost seventeen."

"Yeah, time just flies away doesn´t it? Rosie and Mary now go to high school, they wanted to move to their dad in California to study there. And they´re so big now, I mean, I couldn´t make them not to."

"I heard that your mum was pregnant with a boy a few years ago. How´s he?"

"…this is my stop." I stood up and ran to get out the door when the bus stopped, actually about a mile from where I used to drop off. I knew I was gonna be late for school if I got off the bus now, but it was better than talking about… that"


	4. The past

**Well, I haven´t changed it yet, but in the last chapter, it´s revealed that Jamie is soon seventeen. Let me change that a bit… She´s almost fifteen and her mum have been like she is for three years instead off two.**

I had been right, I was late for school. Usually I hated coming late, but right now I just had too much in my head, so coming late for school was my least problem.

I had always tried to think about that time as little as possible, to not end up like mum and dad; I smiled and pretended that it was all ok. And everyone believed me, so why would I quit, and actually show myself, and everyone else, that it wasn´t as ok as it looked.

At lunch time I walked into the eating hall on my own, as usual. Usually, I just sat down by a table on my own, but this time I looked around the hall, and found what I was looking for, when I saw the Cullen- siblings by a table in the corner. I walked over to them.

"W-w-would you mind i- if I sit here?" I stuttered, a bit nervously.

"No not at all," Alice moved her bag from a chair so I could sit down. I sat and started to go through my backpack, and my pockets after lunch money.

"Oh, crap." I almost whispered. "I forgot money for lunch again. Could I lend some money from you, I´ll pay it back later."

"Yes, of course." Alice felt her pockets and pulled out a tenner. I went to buy a sandwich and something to drink, and when I sat back down, I reached Alice the change.

"Oh, just keep the change," she said. "I don´t need it."

"O….kay." I said and put the money in my pocket.

"This is Jasper by the way." Alice pointed to a boy I hadn´t seen before. "He wasn´t at home yesterday."

"I guess you´re Jamie," Jasper said.

"Yes…" I said. "I´m… Jamie" there was something about that boy that made me really nervous.

"You´re ok Jamie?" Alice asked. "You look a bit tired."

"Yeah, yeah I´m fine, just… just didn´t sleep very well tonight." Without thinking, I pulled my sleeve down and scratched my face, around my eye. When I dropped my hand back down, all of the Cullens were staring at me, and I started to realize what I had done.

"I wiped away the make- up did I?" I almost whispered.

"Aha," Alice answered me. "Jamie what on earth have happened to your face?"

"I… I… I ran into a pole."

" Jamie?"

"I did!"

"Yeah, well whatever you did it looks bad," Rosalie that sat next to me. Held one of her hands around my head, and wiped away the rest of the make- up. "We should let Carlisle take a look at that."

"It´s just a black eye," I said and pushed away her hand from my face. "I don´t need a doctor. Did I forget my skates at yours by the way?"

"Don´t change the subject."

" Well fine." I started to get a bit frustrated. "We´ll do it this way. Why are you guys in foster care at Esme´s and Carlisle´s instead of living with your biological parents?" I leaned back.

"That´s private." Emmett looked at me.

"And so is how I got this black I. Can I change subject now? Did I for…"

"Yes," Alice nodded. "You did, they´re in our car. Do you want to go with me there, and we´ll get them for you."

"Sure." I stood up, and threw the plastic from the sandwich in the dumpster, then I followed Alice out to the parking lot.

"Carlisle asked me to tell you…" Alice began, when we were on our way to the car. "… that if you ever need someone to talk to, or need somewhere to stay for a while. Then you´re always welcome at ours."

"I don´t wanna be a waste of time." I mumbled.

"Don´t worry, you´re never a waste of time, and Carlisle´s not the only one thinking that you could come over some time. We all do."

**Carlisle´s pov, a few hours later.**

I was checking a few X-ray pictures, of a child with a broken arm when Alice and Jasper came walking into my office.

"Hi dad." Alice said, and sat down on a chair on the opposite side of my desk, Jasper stood behind her.

"Hi guys, had a good day at school today?"

"It was good, we met Jamie again." I lifted my head and looked at Alice, who looked a bit worried, and she continued.

"You were right, there really is something going on with her." I laid down the picture on my desktop, and leaned back in the chair. "The first thing I noticed about her today, was that she looked very, very tired. She said she didn´t sleep very well, which, could be true. But then she started scratching her face, by a mistake. She wiped away some make- up, that she had put around her eye, to cover a big black eye." I knew I had now gotten what Nessie used to call. When grandpa´s worried- look. Jasper continued the story.

"Rosie wiped away the rest of the make- up. She told Jamie, that it looked bad, and that we should probably let you take a look at it. But Jamie didn´t want to. Then Jamie changed subject, and asked about her skates."

"We told her not to change the subject, but then she asked us why we´re living with you and mum, instead of living with our real parents. Emmett was the one telling her that that´s private, her asnwer was that so is how she was injured. That´s kind of weird because earlier she told us that she had just walked into a pole."

"And you didn´t believe her because…" I asked.

"She´s not a very good liar, but she´s really good at keeping secrets. She refused to tell us anything, and also, when I told her about what you told me. She said that she didn´t wanna be a waste of time."

"But she´s not…" I began.

"That´s what I told her. She said she would think about it. I really don´t know what more we can do." Alice sighed.

"Well, I´m not giving up," I put on the computer on my desk. "You go home, and see if you can find something out. I´m gonna start with checking her files" I searched for "Jamie Dylan" in our files, and found the right what I found, well, it was definitely not the least tragic story I´d ever heard of.


	5. Sighing

A few days went by, I started to avoid the Cullen´s at school. I couldn´t let them find out what was going on. My dad would literally kill me if I told someone.

Dad hadn´t brought his friends over for a week now. So, for once I got all the sleep I needed several nights in a row. But my luck, it was about to run out. When I came home, Wednesday afternoon, I could see one of dad´s friends, William Ralston, through the kitchen window.

" Oh, crap." I thought. "There is a game between Chicago and Miami today, and between Florida and New Jersey later, and another one tonight. I tried to remember which ones, yes. Chicago and Washington… why didn´t I remember that?" I stepped through the door, and sighed. Three games in one night, this was going to be interesting. Or maybe not.

"Hello!" I shouted when I pulled my shoes of and threw my backpack on the floor in the hallway.

"Hi Jamie." I could hear Will´s dark voice, as I walked into the kitchen.

"Suppose I better go check on mum, " I mumbled, and turned around. Just to see that mum stood right behind me.

"Hi… mum. What are you doing up?" I asked. She didn´t answer me, her eyes were just staring right into the air, as always. Then she turned around, and walked into the bathroom.

I sighed, for one second, one single second every time mum came up, I thought that she was better. That maybe, this would be the end of her, just lying in bed, doing nothing. But every time… I was wrong. Every single time.

I saw mum come out of the bathroom, and walking upstairs again. I sighed, and looked down on my feet.  
"Jamie." I could hear dad´s voice and I turned around again.

"Yes dad."

"Could you cook us some dinner?"

"Have I got a choice," I thought, when I pulled out some raw steaks from the fridge. A few more of dad´s friends arrived during the next five minutes, and they placed themselves in the sofas in the living room, to watch the first game. I sighed, again, and when I heard them turn the volume on the TV up, I started humming on a song.

"_her name is Rio and she dances on the set. Du du du du…" _

"BE QUIET" I could hear dad screaming from the living room. I sighed again. And kept on preparing the steaks for them.

**The next day**

I limped up on the stairs to the big door at school, inside, and through the corridor. Chicago had one game, the first, then Florida won, and I thought that maybe, if Chicago just one the next, I could get some sleep in the night. They lost, with like, twenty points. My dad was furious, and when his friends had gone, as usual, he took out his anger on me. When he pushed me into a wall, head first, I tried to regain balance to ease the hit, and I had felt my ankle crack when I stepped on it wrong. Luckily, my dad was done then, and I had spend a while to check my foot, to find out, it was probably just a bad sprain.

"JAMIE, OVER HERE." I could hear Alice shout through the corridor, and I could see her waving in the other side of the hall. I pulled up my schedule from my pocket, and checked it.

"Damn," I thought. "It´s forty five minutes til my first lesson starts. No excuse not to talk to her. "I put the schedule in my pocket, sighed and walked towards her, the rest of the Cullen´s stood next to her. Well, except from Esme and Carlisle of course.

"Hello." I said to them, and sat down on a bench.

"Hi Jame." Came from Emmett, I looked at him.

"Jame?"

"Sounded good?"

I shrugged.

"You can call me that if you want to. I don´t care."  
"Jame it is then!"

"You´re ok Jamie?" Alice asked and sat down next to me on the bench. "You seem a bit down, and why are you limping?"

"Just a sprain," I said. "and I´m fine."

"You don´t look fine."

"I said I´m fine."  
"I would never be fine again if someone of my sisters or brothers died." Came from Jasper and stiffened.

"How… when?" I stuttered.

"Carlisle checked your files, he´s not allowed to tell us much, but he told us you had a brother."

"I don´t wanna talk about that. You… you have nothing to do with that." I stood up, and walked away from them again. I felt like crying, but I didn´t, I wouldn´t let anyone see me being weak. Not showing anyone… not showing anyone. In the middle of my thoughts I bumped into the big, football- guy Leon Taylor.

"What ya´ doing you brat?" He hissed.

"So… sorry, I didn´t see where I was going AAH" I screamed when he pushed me to the floor.

**Emmett´s pov**

I was still thinking about Jamie, when I could hear her screaming on the other side of the hall.


	6. Explenations

**Emmett´s pov**

Without thinking, I rushed across the hall. I pulled away Leon from Jamie. I pressed Leon against the lockers, and growled.

"Sch Emmett." I could hear Rosie say right next to me. "Calm down, Jamie´s alright." I was still growling, but not as loud as before. I lifted my fist, and punched Leon, not very hard. But hard enough to break his nose.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOIGG" Leon shouted, when blood started streaming from his face.

"Jazz," I could hear Alice´s voice behind me. "We gotta get you out of here." I could hear Alice and Jasper walking out of the room.

**Carlisle´s pov**

I laid in mine and Esme´s bed. I was having a day off, and for once, we had a moment on our own. Just me, and my beloved one. When my cell rang. I reached for it and put it to my ear, and for Esme, the conversation must have sounded something like this.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen yes? … I understand... mhm... yeah, I´ll be right there. Thank you for calling." I sat up in the bed, and started to pull my sneakers on. "Emmett have been fighting with some guy." I explained to Esme. "Broke his nose, I have to go there and pick him up, and check the other boy´s nose." I stood up, and went to get a doctors´ bag I had in my office. Then I took my coat, and walked out to the car. By the time I got to the school, I started to jog, in normal, human speed. Up the stairs.

"Excuse me." I asked, a teacher I saw inside. "Do you know where the headmaster´s office is?"

"Up three stairs," she pointed, "through the whole corridor last door to the left and then the first door to the right."

"Thank you." I thanked her and then started to jog up the stairs. And through the corridor, it didn´t take me long to find the right door and I knocked the door and opened it. Inside, there sat an old man with grey hair and glasses on the tip of his nose, by a desk. The ones who sat on the other side of the desk, sat with their backs towards me. But I recognized Emmett´s short black hair, and all three of them, turned around when I came in. The one to the left, a big- grown boy with brown hair, held a blood- stained paper pressed against his nose. The one to the left, was a girl, with red hair. Who I recognized even before she had turned around.

"Good you could come so fast." The man leaned forward and put his elbows on the desktop. "I hope I didn´t bother you."

"No, not at all sir." I closed the door behind me, and walked straight up to the boy with the hurted nose.

"That´s broken." I said straight away. I took a grip of his head, and laid my other hand on his nose. "This is gonna hurt, but it´s the fastest, and the best way to do it." I took a steady grip of his nose, and cracked it back to its right position.

"AAH" came from the boy. "WHAT YA` DOIGG?" I didn´t care about his question, just laid my bag on the desk, opened it. And pulled out some new tissues for him. I gave him them and turned to Jamie.

"Are you hurt?" I asked in a soft voice. She shook her head. So I turned to Emmett.

"Are you?" I asked, I knew he wasn´t but, I´d better ask so the others wouldn´t get suspicious.

"No Carlisle."

chair. "How and why did this happen?"

"Guess the kids here can explain for themselves." The man nodded towards Emmett.

"Alright, the first thing I knew about it. I was hearing Jamie screaming. I got there, and saw that Leon here, had pushed her down to the floor. I pulled him away from her, and held him against the lockers." He looked up at me. "And I punched him in the face."

"What about you Jamie?" she shrugged.

"I was thinking about something else, so I walked straight into Leon. Then he pushed me down to the floor. But it wasn´t hard or anything, I over- reacted a bit by screaming."

"I understand, so, what will Emmett´s punishment be?" I looked up at the man again. He sighed.

"The fact remains, that you did it to protect a friend. "he began. "so, I won´t be too harsh on you. But you´re suspended for a week from now on." Emmett nodded. "So I guess we´re done here. Emmett, Leon and Jamie stood up, and walked before me out the door and to the corridor. Jamie walked last, and it would be hard not to see that she was limping.

"Jamie?"

"yes." She stopped, and turned around to look at me.

"What happened to your foot?"

"I hurted it on my way home yesterday, I´ll be fine."

"Would you mind if I take a look at it?" I asked. She sighed, but sat down on a chair and answered no. She started to pull of her shoe and sock.

"Would you mind sir?" I turned towards the man. "Could you leave us alone for a minute."

"Yes, yes of course." The man stood up and walked out the door.

"And how did this happen?" I asked while placing Jamie´s foot onto my lap.

"Nothing, just trod awry:" Jamie said, and snatched when I pressed her ankle

"It hurts here?" I asked.

"It´s not so bad." She mumbled and looked to the floor.

"Can you press your foot against my hand?" I held my palm against her sole, and he pressed her foot against it. I opened my bag again, and pulled out a bandage.

"It seems like a bad sprain," I explained to her. "But if the pain haven´t eased in, let´s say five days. You can come over." I looked up at her. She didn´t look at me, when she started to pull her sock and shoe on again.

"Jamie?" I asked. "You´re ok?"

"I´m fine, why wouldn´t I be?"

"You look very tired." She shrugged. "Are you sure everything´s alright?"

"Look, nothing of this would have happened, if you hadn´t told the others about me having a brother."

"I understand." I nodded slightly. And stroke my chin.

"No you don´t. "Jamie stood up and walked across the room to look out the window. "You weren´t there, you know nothing."

"Jamie," I went to stand behind her. "I want you to tell me, exactly why you´re not letting anyone close."

"Why do you wanna know that?"

"Because I´m your friend" she turned her head and looked at me, and then looked through the window again. "I wanna help you!"

"Because if I don´t let anyone come close to me, or know anything about me… then I won´t have anything to lose."


	7. Cold

**So, to make the long waiting up to everyone I´m updating all of my stories at the same time.**

**Carlisle´s point of view**

"I´m not saying, I don´t think you did the right thing when you pulled away Leon from Jamie." I said to my son, when we got home. "I´m just saying that, try not to hurt anyone next time."

"I´m Sorry dad," Emmett opened the door to our house, and walked after me in. "I just, I was so mad. I really wanted to hurt that guy, for trying to hurt Jame."

"Jame?"

"Her new nick- name. Well, if you haven´t got anything else to say to me. I´m going hunting. Because I really have to get some anger management."

"You go, I´ll see you later." Emmett turned around and was out the door in the blink of an eye. I sighed, and walked down the stairs to the living room. I sat down in the sofa, and put my elbows on my knees, and my face in my hands.

"Did you meat Jamie?" Esme came to sit next to me.

"Yes. I asked her why she´s not letting anyone close to her and she said…"

**Jamie´s point of view**

"….And I told him that, if I don´t let anyone close. Then I won´t have anyone to lose." I sat on the edge of mum´s bed. Holding her hand, and telling her about my day. But she still stared, into the roof. With the same empty eyes as always.

"You know mum," I stood up. "I can´t do this anymore, I´ve said to myself for years now that, it isn´t that bad, and just rolled with the wind. I´m feeding you, talking with you about my day, get beaten up by dad. And serve him and his friends every time there are football games. Or hockey- games, or basketball or whatever. But I can´t do it anymore. And lately I´ve started to remember things that I haven´t remembered before." I sat down on the edge of the bed and took mum´s hand again. "The Cullens, they… they care about me. And I don´t know for how long, I can keep being like this. I need someone to rely on. I need someone to talk to, and I need friends. And the Cullens, all of them, they are trying to care about me, trying to be my friends. And I don´t know for how long I can push them away… I don´t want to push them away." I sighed. Let go of mum´s hand and slide down from the bed. Until I sat with my back against the bed.

"I´m gonna try to wake you up mum." I said. "I´m gonna try every night, for a week. I´m gonna make dad go to the bar during the nights. And if I don´t succeed, I´m gonna tell someone of the Cullens about this."

I didn´t wanna give up, but I had come to a point when I just didn´t know what else to do.

**The day after, at school.**

I sat down, on the other side of the hall when I saw, Alice Jasper, Edward, Nessie, Bella and Rosalie. I was hoping they wouldn´t see me, but too late. They came walking, just half a minute after I had sat down.

"Hi Jamie." Alice said.

"Hey," I nodded slightly. Then I looked back to the book, I held in my lap.

"You look tired again," Jasper said.

"So?" I asked him. "I mean. The heat in the house broke down tonight , so it was freezing cold. I had eighteen asthma attacks from the time of about ten p.m. to four a.m. Eighteen, in" I counted with my fingers. "six hours, that´s one every twentieth minute, and I barely slept anything between them, you´d be quite tired too if you were in that position. And at four a.m. suddenly, the heat went on again. Don´t ask me why are how. But it did." I looked up on the Cullens. Alice came to sit next to me.

"What is it with you guys?" I asked and stood up when Alice tried to put her arm around my shoulders. "why can´t you just leave me alone… why can´t everyone just leave me alone?"

"Is that a Scottish accent?" Nessie asked. And I realized my mistake. "It is, are you from Scotland?"

"Just… just leave me alone, will ya?" I asked. And hang my rucksack on one shoulder. "Please." I turned around and walked away from the Cullens.

**So, this chapter is short. But it´s necessary. **

**Four chapters done on my update-all-of-my-stories-at-the-same-time-project. Three more to go.**


	8. Everything changes

**Sorry to keep you waiting,**

And the week went on, after I had tried with turning the heat down, I turned the heat up, I tried to talk about memories, I tried to sing songs, I tried to play drums on things I could find in the kitchen, I tried to read from books, and pouring water over her. After all, I had slept about ten hours the last week. And there were still no reactions from mum.

The next Friday, I sat on the bench where I usually sat when I had free- time at school. With a book on my lap, though I was so tired, I hadn´t even got the energy to read.

"Hey Jame." I looked up a bit, when Emmett came to sit next to me.

"Hi Emmett, you back today?" I asked.

"Yes," he leaned backwards.

"Emmett, how did you get to me so fast when Leon started to beat me up?" I had been waiting all week to ask him that question. "One second, you were on the other side of the hall, and then next second you were right next to me."

"No Jamie, I was right behind you all the time." Emmett said, but I knew that was a lie.

"No you weren´t"

"Yes I was."

"No you weren´t"

"Yes I was."

"Hi Jamie" Alice came to sit down next to Emmett, the rest of the Cullens had come with her, and now stood around us. "What´s that book you´re reading?"

"Book about vampires," I held it up so she could see it. "Mr. Trey´s given us a assignment, we get to write an essay about whatever we want, and I´ve always been quite fascinated by vampires, so…" I didn´t finish the sentence. "I mean they, I know they´re not real or anything…" I looked at my watch. "I gotta go now, I have English." I went to the classroom, and sat down by a computer to search for facts about vampires.

That afternoon, I had decided to tell the Cullens the whole truth about me and my parents, I wanted to talk to Carlisle, that´s why I hadn´t told the others when we were at school. I lifted my hand to knock the door, but I stopped myself from doing that just right before I knocked the door. What was I doing? How was I going to explain what I had tried so hard to keep as a secret? I lowered my hand again, and turned around to go home again.

A few days went by, days got to weeks, and weeks got to almost a month, in the beginning of December, a night when dad had his friends over, everything changed.

"Jamie," I stood by the kitchen bench, doing the dishes, when one of dad´s friends, Mr. Davies, sneaked up behind me, and laid his chin on my shoulder. I knew what he was doing, but I didn´t wanna let him do it, I had done that the last time he tried but not this time.

"Come on" he said when I took a step to the left, took get away from him. "I can see you´re sad about something, I can make it good Jamie, I swear, just you trust me." I could feel his lips against my cheek and neck. What would I do now? In panic, I grabbed the frying pan, and was about to slam it in his face, but I was too slow, and he got a grip of it, and threw it over the kitchen, before it had touched his head.

"Don´t you dare," I said, I tried to make my voice not to shake, I didn´t wanna show him that I was afraid.

"Oh, come on Jamie," he came closer when I tried to step away from him again.

"NO" I shouted "NO, NO, stop it." Then the worst that could happen, happened, he reached for a beer can, that stood on the kitchen table. He opened it, and grabbed my hair, so my head leaned backwards.

"NO, DAD, DAD HELP." I screamed, "DAD, MUM PLEASE." But nothing happened. Then suddenly, dad stood in the door, with two other of his friends, in the door.

"Do what you want Davies," dad said. "This could be interesting." At that moment, when I realized dad and all of his friends would think this was just as fun, as Mr. Davies day, so I stopped struggling. He put the beer can to my lips and turned the bottom up; it tasted so bad I felt sick. But I understood that if I threw up, I would be in even more trouble. Mr. Davies forced me to drink that bottle, until it was all empty, and then he forced me to drink another half one. Then he pulled the zipper on my hoodie down, made me turn around and pulled the hoodie of me from my back. And when the hoodie laid on the floor, somehow, I seemed to wake up. I turned around and kicked him, without looking at where I kicked him. And the kick hit him, right between his legs. I saw my chance, turned around and ran out of the kitchen, before dad or his friends had the time to catch me. I took my inhaler from the bench in the halway, before I ran out in the cold midnight air and towards the garage.

I pulled out my bike that stood right inside the door of the garage, I ran with my hands on the steering part, before jumping up on it when I came up on the road. As seconds passed, I became more and more dizzy, and I felt more and more sick, so how I stayed on the road I don´t know.

The midnight in December- air was cold towards my bear arms. Before I fell, right outside the Cullens´ house, I managed to get on my feet and stumbled a bit before I fell towards the wall, and managed to knock the door.

**So, this one isn´t exactly how I use to write. But, I kinda like it, what ya think? **


	9. Lullabies

**Sorry to keep you waiting, but there has been heaps and heaps of homework at school this last few weeks. **

**So, I know I pretty much all the time, write a story from a single persons´ pov. In this story, mostly Jamie, but there have been from Carlisle´s and Emmett´s pov a couple of times. IN this chapter, there is so much happenings on different places, so I´m not gonna write of a single person´s pov… you´ll get it. **

In the Cullen- house hold, nothing much was going on at the moment before Jamie knocked the door. Jasper and Alice were out hunting, Nessie, Edward and Bella were in a house of their own, a few miles away, Emmett was watching a football- game on the TV. Carlisle and Esme, lay in their bed, doing mostly nothing, and Rosalie stood on the balcony, looking over the sea, and the field they had just behind their house.

Esme looked up when she heard the knock on the door, but Carlisle used his hand to push her head back on his chest.

"One of the kids can take it."

"Which human would be awake at this time," she thought out loud and looked at the watch hanging over their bed, "it´s past midnight."

"It´s probably nothing," Carlisle said. "Maybe is one of our vampire- or wolf- friends."

"I just have a feeling, something is not right." She mumbled, and sat up when the door knocked again. "I´ll go take it." Carlisle smiled. Lifted his head a little and said.

"I´ll be waiting right here." He said dramatic, "if I survive without you for a while." Esme took a pillow and threw it in Carlisle´s face, then she was gone, and Carlisle could hear the door open.

When Esme opened the door, Jamie literally fell inside, Esme caught her fall, and helped Jamie to get up on her feet again.

"Whoa," Esme said. "What´s going on Jamie, what brings you here in the middle of the night?"

"What brings me here?" Jamie stretched her back fully, but were still moving from one side to the other. "My bike brought me here. You know, I feel pretty weird, my dad´s friend forced me to drink something, I don´t know what it was, but, it tasted horrible, and it made me dizzy, and it made me feel really sick."

"Ok, Jamie, I´ll go get Carlisle ok?"

"Ok," Jamie stumbled again, and then sat down on a bench next to the door. Esme turned around, and walked to the bedroom were Carlisle still laid on the bed.

"Carlisle." She walked through the door.

"Yes my love."

"Jamie´s here, and she´s…"

"Yes?"

"… drunk I think." Carlisle sat up. "She´s talking about her dad´s friend giving her something bad to drink… she says it´s making her feel sick." Esme didn´t have to say anything else, Carlisle jumped up on his feet and jogged past Esme, who followed him walking.

"Hi Jamie," Carlisle sat down on the bench, next to Jamie. "What brings you here?"

"My bike brought me here," Jamie said and looked around. Then Emmett came walking down the hallway.

"Hey Jame, what´s up?"

"I don´t know what´s up." Jamie shook her head. "But do you know what´s funny,"

"No, what´s funny?"

"I made this… ehrm, ehrm, thing about vampires the other day, and I found some stuff. Some stuff that said something about vampires being real… and you know what? All the descriptions, at that site, itw as like they had written about you guys." Carlisle looked to Esme. "Which means." Jamie continued. "That you guys, are like vampires or something. You see, you´re really fast, you never eat, you never sleep, you don´t go to school when it´s sunny outside." Carlisle nodded slightly, and then his hand on Jamie´s shoulder.

"Jamie," he said. "Maybe we could go outside, to the balcony, we can talk a bit about what you think."

"Okay," Jamie stood up, and again almost fell, when Carlisle grabbed her arm, and led her out to the balcony."

"Rose," he said when he came out. "Could you go inside, I think that I and Jamie need to talk on our own for a while." Rosalie nodded, and walked inside, Carlisle closed the door behind her.

"Sit." He pointed to a chair, but Jamie walked to the rail that ran around the balcony instead, and leaned against it.

" So, What´s going on?" Carlisle leaned against the rail to, next to Jamie.

"My dad´s friend gave me something bad to drink. It tasted terrible, and it´s making me feel sick."

"I understand."

"He… he did it… because he tried to do something really bad to me, and then, I refused. So he made me drink something, than he pulled my hoodie of me, and then I turned around, and kicked him, and then I ran."

"You did the right thing, no one is allowed to do something to you that you don´t want to do."

"It´s kind of cold out here, he pulled my hoodie of." Just now Carlisle realized that Jamie was wearing nothing else than T-shirt, sweat pants and trainers.

"You must be freezing," he pulled out his own long- sleeved shirt. "This will probably be too big for you, but it´s warm." Jamie looked at Carlisle before she took it, and pulled it over her head. When she had got in, she leaned over the rail again, and groaned.

"Are you all…" Carlisle hadn´t finished the sentence, when Jamie leaned further over the rail and threw up.

"Whoa," Carlisle stroke Jamie´s back. "It´s all right Jamie, just relax." Jamie stretched out her back a little, and then leaned against Carlisle.

"I need to go home again," she mumbled. "My mum… she…."

"You´re not going anywhere my friend," Carlisle lifted Jamie up, and walked into the house, and down the stairs to the living room, where Jasper and Alice had arrived home.

"What happened?" Alice asked.

"I´ll explain later," Carlisle said. "Esme get a bucket, the rest of you, go out of here."

"But…" Emmett tried.

"Now." Carlisle gave him a strict look, and then all of them understood that they hadn´t got much choice. So they walked out of the room. Esme placed the bucket she had found next to the sofa on the floor, and then sat down on the corner of the sofa, before Carlisle laid Jamie down, so she got her head in Esme´s lap. Then he ran up to get a quilt, and came back with one that he laid over Jamie.

"Is Jamie going to be ok?" Esme asked, and looked at Carlisle, while softly playing with Jamie´s red hair.

"Yes, she´s going to be just fine." Carlisle nodded.

"Esme." Jamie mumbled sleepy.

"Yes," Esme answered her.

"When I was little, my mum always used to sing me lullabies." Jamie began. "Then, I got a little bit older, like, seven, eight, nine." And I was so afraid, that I was soon going to be too old, for lullabies. Then one day, I asked my mum about it, and she answered, that I´m never too old for it, not as long as I still wanna listen, she´s gonna sing me the songs. But then… when I was eleven, or twelve, then mum got pregnant. We knew straight away it was going to be a boy, we just knew it. We called him Jordan, and we used to read stories to him, and sing songs. For five months, I was so proud that I was gonna be a big sister. So proud… and then…" Jamie took a deep breath. "Then mum got ill, she was rushed to the hospital, I came with her, and we called dad. The doctors said they had to take Jordan out immediately, and they did, when he came out, mum was unconscious, and dad hadn´t arrived yet, so they gave Jordan to me, saying there was nothing they could do to save him. Then… for five minutes, I held him in my arms, I could feel his little heart beating, and then… it stopped." Jamie opened her eyes and looked up at Esme. "I never was ready for her to stop singing me lullabies, but she hasn´t sang me one, since that day. She just lays there, she doesn´t do anything, and dad drinks worse than ever… I don´t know what to do anymore."

"Jamie," Carlisle squatted down next to Jamie. "Get some sleep now, and we can talk about what we´re going to do, in the morning, we´ll figure something out okay?" Jamie nodded, closed her eyes, and then drifted off to sleep.

**So, that´s it, now they know what´s happening to Jamie, what do you think?**


	10. Help

**Carlisle pov**

Me and my beloved one, we sat in the sofa with Jamie, through the rest of the night. I tried to bring some work from the office and down to the living room, but I ended up carrying it back to the office, as I couldn´t concentrate.

There were no words spoken after that Jamie had fallen asleep, we were both to afraid to wake her up. Oh god, how did I let this happen? Jamie, was, and had been a part of the family, ever since when she first came through the door to my house. It had all been so obvious. We had tried to gain some trust, but we could have tried harder, and now Jamie was the one paying the price because of that. And I had let it all happen, the evidence that something bad had been happening had been right in front of my eyes, and I still hadn´t done anything.

I saw Jamie as my daughter, just as much as I saw Bella, Alice or Rose as my daughters, I didn´t let bad stuff happen to them, so why did I let this happen to Jamie? I had all the time in the world, and still I hadn't spent enough time, trying to figure out what it was with Jamie, even though there was so obvious there was something bothering her.

When Jamie coughed, I reached down, and held up the bucket in case she would throw up again, but she just coughed a few times, turned around in her sleep. And kept on sleeping.

In the morning the others left for school, and I realized I would have to call my boss at the hospital.

"Esme… love." I whispered, quiet not to wake Jamie.

"Yes," she whispered back. I stood up.

"I´m just gonna go call the hospital, and tell them I won´t be there today. Shout of something happens."

"Yeah." She nodded. I clapped Jamie´s shoulder, and walked upstairs to get the phone. I pressed the number to the hospital and put the phone to my ear.

"Dr. Riley, county general hospital yes?" I could hear after two rings.

"Hi, Dr. Riley," I said. "This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, from the emergency room speaking."

"Dr. Cullen, yes. Why are you calling?"

"You see, I´m gonna have to take a few days off work."

"Ok, can you tell me for how long you´re going to be gone, and why?"

"Ehrm, I´m not sure, for how long I´m gonna be gone, you see, one of my foster children have gotten ill, it doesn´t seem that bad, but I´m not sure what it is, so I just wanna stay here, in case anything get worse…"

"I see, so… I´ll check if I can find a substitute for the next week, will that be enough?"

"Yes, that will be perfectly fine thank you."

"Carlisle." I could hear Esme call my name from downstairs.

"I have to go now," I said in the phone. "Goodbye,"

"Goodbye Dr. Cullen." I hung up and ran, vampire speed to the living room. Where Jamie was just about to wake up.

**Jamie pov**

I groaned, and turned around, I had a really, really bad headache so, I lifted my hand and laid my hand on my head, before I slowly opened my eyes.

"Here," someone held a pill and a glass of water in front of me. "Take this," now I could hear it was Carlisle´s voice. I pulled my shoulders back, and slowly sat up, just to have a wave of nausea hit me. I leaned against Esme´s shoulder, and breathed slowly, trying not to throw up. Which… didn´t succeed, so when Carlisle held up a bucket in front of me, I threw up. While Esme held away my hair, and rubbed my back.

"I´m sorry." I almost whispered, when I was done, and leaned back against Esme´s shoulder.

"No, no, don´t say you´re sorry." Carlisle said, "It´s not your fault." He walked away for a few minutes, and came back . Then he lifted the pill and the water- glass again, and gave it to me.

"Take this," he gave me the pill. "It´s just an aspirin, you don´t need to be afraid." He gave the water to me. "Now drink this slowly…. I said slowly." I did as I was told… well, almost. Then I fell asleep again.

When I woke up the next time, I searched for the clock, I found it, and saw that it was one p.m. The headache was almost gone, and I didn´t feel sick anymore, so I slowly sat up, which went pretty well this time. Carlisle sat down on the table, and looked me in the eyes.

"I said some crazy stuff last night did I?" I asked and tried to smile, just to avoid the subject, I knew Carlisle would wanna talk about sooner or later anyway.

"Not so much, but when we asked what brought you here, you misunderstood and said that your bike brought you here." I smiled.

"Yeah, I can remember that."

"You also, said that you think we´re vampires." Esme said.

"Aren´t you?" I asked. Carlisle smiled a little. "I mean, you never sleep, never eat, you´re strong, fast, you don´t go out when it´s sunny, and I found this…"

"Yeah, you said that last night." Carlisle said. "And yeah, you´re right, you´re a clever girl, I don´t think anyone have found it out as fast as you."

"Oh, I´m not that clever, though I think I said I wrote that essay the other day, and it´s like, a month ago."

"So, you´ve known for a month…."

"Yes, but I didn´t say anything, because I was too afraid that I might have been wrong." I smiled again.

"But you weren´t" Esme said.

"I still don´t think I´m very clever," I sighed. "You know, I have grown up with stories about vampires and werewolves, my mum used to tell me stories, about those, living side by side… as friends."

"Vampires and werewolves are usually born enemies, but we actually have werewolf- friends, Nessie´s boyfriend is one of them, you´ll probably meet him, and his two friends, Seth and Leah if you stay here."

"Why would I stay here?" I asked.

"Jamie," Carlisle leaned forward. "I think… that we both know…"

"That my mum´s mental, and need to goes to a mental hospital, and that my dad´s drunk…. And needs rehab and treatment, no way, I´m doing just fine thank you."

"Jamie,"

"I´ve already lived through it three years, I think I can keep on doing it."

"And look what happens, Jamie." Carlisle looked me in the eyes. "I can´t let you suffer, please, let us help you."

"I don´t need no help thank you."

"Jamie," Esme said, I looked up at her, and then pulled her arm off me, and moved to the other side of the sofa.

"Jamie," Carlisle said, but I didn´t answer him, I just placed my arms over my chest, and looked down.

"Jamie, look at me," he stood up and sat down next to me, he tried to place his hand on my shoulders, but I shook him off, and looked in the other direction.

"Jamie, I know you´re afraid of losing something if you let us close, but we won´t disappear… I promise," I turned my head to look at him again, I sighed, and let my arms fall down my sides,

"So," I said, "How are we going to do it."

"Yeah, that´s my girl." Carlisle clapped my shoulder. "So, at first, we´re gonna get your parents,"

"Could we do that tomorrow?" I asked. "I don´t think I dare to stand up and walk yet." I smiled, to show him that I was joking.

"Do you wanna come with us?" he asked. I nodded.

"Think I better, you don´t know my parents…" I pulled my foot up and tied my shoelaces. "I probably should give your shirt back." I grabbed the shirt I had borrowed from Carlisle the night before, and pulled it of. Then I gave it back to him,

"Esme," he said and stood up, "I´ll go throw this in the washing machine, you two, go find something Jamie can wear until tomorrow. He smiled, and then, in the blink of an eye, he was gone again.

**So, I´m gonna stop it right there.**

**This was the first I was writing in 2013… and the first I published. What did ya think? **


	11. One more time

**So, as you can see in some of the earlier chapters, I´ve changed Jamie´s last name, from Heeriot to Dylan, yes I know Dylan is usually is a boys´ name, and not a surname as it is here. Why? Because there´s a writer called James Herriot. Got a bit annoyed by those names being so like each other. **

** .matter. No, I am not going to do that, sorry. **

I and Esme found some clothes for me two wear, a pair of jeans, and a shirt, that´d be way too big for me. Not that I cared, I thought big clothes were comfortable.

Esme leaved the room, when I was changing clothes. Then, I took my own clothes, put my inhaler in the pocket of the jeans I was wearing now, and walked out.

"Eat," when Emmett and the others came home, Emmett placed a paper- bag from McDonald´s on the living room table, and pushed it towards my side of the table, I looked at him. Then, slowly reached for it, and opened and looked down in it.

"So," I started. "Here we´ve got, a burger, French fries, and a drink…. You seriously expect me to eat all this? I mean, why did you even buy it.?"

"Carlisle told us to…" he said, I turned my head to look at Carlisle, and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, do You… seriously… expect me to eat all this?" I poked down in the bag. Then I reached my hand down in it, and placed the food on the table.

"It´s the doctor´s order," he smiled.

"Must be…. A…. really…. Weird…. Doctor," a coughing fit made pauses in what I was saying, and I pulled my inhaler up of my pocket, and did what I was meant to do, before putting it to my mouth and breathing in. When I looked up again, I saw that the majority of the Cullen- family were looking at me.

"What are you staring at?" I fizzled, and started eating.

**The next day **

"So, Jamie." Emmett began, while I was still not quite awake. "Today´s the day!" I rolled over to my stomach in the sofa, lifted the pillow and put it over my head.

"Oh come on Jame," I can feel Emmett grabbing the blanket, that somehow have ended up under me, and pulling it towards him, so I´m tipped down on the floor.

"Ouch… okay, now I´m awake." I sat up, and stood up to sit on the sofa instead of on the floor. Then I took the clothes I had been wearing yesterday, then walked to the bathroom to change, from a big T- shirt I had borrowed from Emmett to wear as a pajamas. When I had changed, I threw the T- shirt in the basket for dirty clothes and walked out in the living room again, where I sat down by the piano, and before I knew it, I´d started playing, and then, I remembered the lyrics.

_Every time I try to look  
away  
See your face on our reflection  
Every choice I try to make,  
I pray  
Leads me in a right direction_

I don't know what it is, but I know I'm missing it  
Missing out  
But the memory we made remains,  
remains

Won't you hold me like you used to  
Hold it, girl, just one more time  
Won't you love me like you used to  
Love with you is so sublime  
I was there for you, you were there for me  
Can we get this back again?  
Won't you hold me like you used to  
Hold it, girl, Just one more time

"my very own guitar, thanks mum, thanks dad." The Christmas when I was eleven  
"Now open this." Dad gave an envelope, and when I opened I found a card, which I opened and read.  
"Dear Jamie," I read out loud. "We are now happy to be able to tell you, that in this summer, you´re gonna have a…. I´M GONNA HAVE A BROTHER?" I shouted. And jumped up from the floor and danced and jumped around the living room with the card pressed to my chest. __

Tell me how long has it been,  
since we  
shown each other some affection  
Tell me how long will it take,  
till we  
are done with all this introspection  
I don't know why it hurts,  
but I know I'm missing you, and I know you missing me  
We been doing this so long,  
common,  
common

Won't you hold me like you used to  
Hold it, girl, just one more time  
Won't you love me like you used to  
Love with you is so sublimed  
I was there for you, you where the for me  
Can we get this back again?  
Won't you hold me like you used to  
Hold it, girl. Just one more time

"I´m sorry, but there´s nothing we can do." The doctor laid Jordan in my arms, and then looked up at the doctor.  
"Thegore´s gotta be something…"I whispered  
"I´m so sorry." The doctor turned around and walked out of the room. __

Could it ever be  
Could it ever be  
Could it ever be like it was before  
Only in my dream 

"Why didn´t you tell them to save him."  
"I´m so sorry dad… I- I tried." Dad looked furious, and he threw the bottle he was holding in his and towards me. __

I'll wait for you, will you wait for me?  
Won't you hold me like you used to  
Hold it, girl, just one more time  
Won't you love me like you used to  
Love with you is so sublime  
I was there for you, you where the for me  
Can we get this back again?  
Won't you hold me like you used to  
Hold it, girl. _Just one more time_

"Very beautiful, is that for your mum?" I turned around, and saw that once again, the Cullens had all listened to me. Carlisle was the one talking. I slowly nodded.

"Are you ready to go?" Esme asked. I nodded again, and stood up, to go with the others to my home.

**The song is one more time by Chris Medina. **

**What did you think? **


	12. Now they know

**I´m so sorry. **

Me, and the Cullens walked towards my house, I walked a bit in front of the others, to show the way, or… mostly because I didn´t want them to see the expression on my face. The closer we got, the more nervous I got, my dad would be so angry. And though I knew my friends wouldn´t let him hurt me, I was afraid of what he might do. After just about fifteen minutes of walking, we were there. We waited for Carlisle to arrive, with the car just a couple of minutes, because he had been at the hospital, getting a first aid kit, somehow, he had felt like I would need that today.

"Could you just wait here outside for a minute," I said. "I´ll shout when you can come in." the others nodded, and I opened the door, and then stepped over the threshold, and then I closed the door behind me. I didn´t quite know why I had wanted the others to stay outside, but somehow, it felt like that was the best option. I walked into the kitchen at first, and started to warm some soup for mum, and then I knocked the door to the small room next to the kitchen, where dad used to be. I opened the door and immediately took a jump back. Because my dad was standing right behind it, angrier than I had ever seen him before.

"You… evil…. Little…. BRAT" he hissed. He hissed.

"Help," I almost whispered. But then dad took a step forward, he took a grip around my throat and lifted me up. I tried to scream after help, but I couldn´t breathe. I tried to kick, but dad was stronger than me.

I thought that my last minute had risen, when the door to the kitchen flew open. In the blink of an eye, Emmett had rushed over the floor, and made dad let go off me. I fell to my knees, and I coughed so hard, I thought I would throw up. The rest of the Cullens had rushed in as well. Edward and Jasper ran over to Emmett, that growled towards my dad, and Carlisle was the first one that came and squatted down next to me.

"He… he wanted to kill me…" I gasped, still trying to regain my breath. Carlisle patted my back a bit, but as usual, he stayed calm. Then he stood up, and helped Edward and Jasper, from trying to kill my dad.

"Emmett," Carlisle said calming. "I am gonna take Mr. Dylan to this place where I´ve ordered a place for him, you stay here, Edward, come with me and help me with this mister." He grabbed one of dad´s shoulders. Edward grabbed the other one and together they walked out of the house.

"You´re okay sweetheart?" Esme had squatted down next to me. I nodded, and moved away from her, when she tried to lay her hand on my shoulder.

"I´m fine." I stood up and took a bowl, spoon and a glass of water for mum. Then I jumped up to sit on the bench to wait for the soup to get warm enough. When it had, I jumped down from the bench again, and poured the soup, down in the bowl.

"I thought you ate before we left," Emmett said a bit confused.

"I did," I said. "This is for mum."

"Then why doesn´t she make her own food?"

"You´ll see." I walked through the kitchen, into the living room and upstairs, where I opened the door to mum´s room. I turned the light on, and walked over the floor, put the bowl and the glass on mum´s bedside table, raised the head on the bed, and sat down, took the bowl and the spoon, and started feeding her. Emmett and the others came into the room as well, and sat down on the floor by the wall. Esme came over to me, and reached out her hands.

"Please, let me do that for you." She said, but I shook my head.

"No thanks, I´d rather do it myself." Esme nodded slightly, and sat down by the foot of the bed. During the whole time I was feeding mum, nobody said a word, but soon we heard Edward and Carlisle, coming inside and then we heard them coming up the stairs, and they came into the room, just as I gave mum the last spoon of soup.

"Could you take these downstairs?" I asked Bella. "Just put them in the sink in the kitchen, I´ll do the dishes later."

"Okay," she stood up, took the dishes and walked out the room. I opened the door to the wardrobe and took out a T- shirt, a hoodie, and a pair of sweat pants.

"Boys!" I looked to Jasper, Carlisle, Edward and Emmett. "Get out for a minute." They nodded, Bella walked into the room again. "You others, stay to help me." The girls in the room nodded, and the boys walked out of the room. Esme and Rosalie helped me to make mum stand up, and I took of mum the pyjamas, and dressed her in the clothes I had picked out. Just as Esme and Rose let go of mum, she took a step back, and sat down on her bed again. Staring in front of her again, as if she didn´t know we were there. I sighed, and looked to the floor. I sat down on the edge of the bed, next to mum.

"I didn´t want it to end up this way mum!" I said. "I wanted to have a brother, I wanted us to be just a happy family. But things didn´t go as we wanted them to go. But then, after that happened. I wanted to make you wake up again, and I don´t know if you remember, but I tried so hard. I really did. It just didn´t work out. I´m sorry mum! I´m so sorry, I should have tried even harder, I should have made the doctors save Jordan, but I couldn´t, and now, you´re still in this position. Three years later mum, and I just can´t do it anymore, now, my friends, they´re gonna drive you somewhere, where you can get help. I don´t really know where, but there´s no need to be afraid. I´ll be all right, and we´ll meet again, and then, you´ll be better."

"And we´re gonna take care of Jamie for you." Esme took a step forward. "So you just concentrate on getting better." Mum still didn´t move, or even showed that she had heard. I stood up, took a grip of her hands, and tried to make mum stand up.

"Come on mum, you need to stand up and walk down the stairs." She didn´t move. "Come on mum." I pulled her arms, still no reaction. I sighed.

"It´s okay," Esme said, and lifted mum up, so easy it was like she weighed just a few pounds.

"I´ll… I´ll pack one bag for her, and one bag for dad." I said, and pulled out two suitcases from the big wardrobe. I placed one of them on mum´s bad, and started throwing in mum´s clothes and stuff. Then I walked downstairs, to the room by the kitchen, and packed a suitcase for my dad, I walked outside with them to the car, and then Carlisle drove away again. Emmett had done the dishes, because he was bored he said. So after that, I took a third suitcase, walked upstairs to my room. I threw down what I needed in the suitcase, there was clothes from the wardrobe, a few books and movies from the small bookcase, and asthma- meds from the drawers in the desk. I had an envelope with some pictures hidden in my pillow, I put it in my rucksack along with the school- stuff. I pulled my rucksack on, and pulled the shoulder strap of the suitcase over my head. Then I walked downstairs again. I let Emmett take the suitcase, and then I walked out of the door, closed it behind me, and turned the key in the lock. Then I turned around, and took my first to a one- known future.

**Well, maybe you think it´s weird that I´ve written that Jamie keeps her meds in a drawer in the desk. Well, I´d know where you could keep your meds, because when I took my meds, I had them in the drawer under my desk. But, you know what? Since the last time I wrote a chapter, I´ve both celebrated one year without meds, and I´ve been to the drug- store, leaving my old meds there. "Happy- dance, happy- dance, happy- dance." **


	13. The wolfpack

**I´m so sorry**

"Oh, damn." I suddenly said when we were on our way to the Cullen- house. I stopped.

"What?" Alice asked, and the rest of them stopped too.

"Ehrm, I forgot something back at the house, could you take these." I pulled of my rucksack and bag, I´m just gonna go get it." I turned around, and half ran back to the house. I stopped outside the door, to catch my breath, use the inhaler and unlock it. I ran up the stairs and opened a wardrobe. I pulled out a guitar- case from the wardrobe, and also a DVD, I also took my skates and hung them over one shoulder, and then I walked to the Cullen´s. I didn´t knock the door as usual, so I just walked right in, and down in the cellar, to the living room.

"You play the guitar too?" Esme asked when I came downstairs. "Apart from the piano and singing I mean." I nodded and looked around the living room. Then I looked to Esme again, and raised an eyebrow.

"I´ll show you to your room." Esme walked before me into a corridor behind me, in the end of the corridor, she opened a door.

"This will be your room, as long as you´re staying here." I walked into the room, the walls were white, because it was in the cellar, it had no windows, but it had a bed, a book- shelf and a desk, a chair and a wardrobe. The others had already laid my bag and rucksack down on the bed, Now I put the skates on the floor, the DVD on the desk, and the guitar in the corner. Then I sat down on the bed. I looked to the floor, but looked up when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" I stood up, the door opened and Carlisle came in.

"Sit down again," he pointed to the bed, and lifted the chair so he could sit and look me in the eyes.

"I´ve sent your parents to the best rehabs in the country, they´re currently sitting on a plane to Florida."

"Mhm."

"The thing is, their problem´s so bad, and have been going on for so long, it will take some while before they come home again."

"How long?"

"Six months."

"SIX MONTHS?" Carlisle nodded. I sighed. "Well, I guess it´s the best."

"Jamie…"

"Could you leave me alone… Please."

"Of course," Carlisle laid his hand on my head for a split second, and then he walked out of the door. I put my head in my hands.

"How did I get into this?" I whisper, more to myself than to anyone else. I sat like that for a while, until I decided to at least put my things in their places, and give Carlisle his clothes back. I opened my big bag and pulled out a hoodie, a pair of baggy jeans, T- shirt and underwear. I made sure the door to my room was locked, before as fast as I could, pulling of Carlisle´s clothes, throwing them at the bed, before I pulled my own clothes on. I pulled the T- shirt over my head, but before I pulled my hoodie on, I pulled the sleeve up and let my fingers run over the scars on my shoulder.

Long, red marks, over the whole shoulder, and the upper parts of the arm, I sighed, and turned around when I heard someone grabbed the lock of the door, and it flew opened.

"Oops, sorry," Emmett said and took a look at the now broken lock. "Oh… damn," I could see that he had seen the scar, and I started unfolding my hoodie.

"Not so fast," Emmett took my arm, "We should probably let Carlisle take a look at that."

"But didn´t you notice that the door was locked," I almost shouted, "Didn´t it cross your mind that THERE was a reason,"

"I´m sorry," Emmett began. "but…"

"I don´t want your excuses"

"…The wolf- pack´s here, if you´d like to meet them."

"Get out," I said. "I´ll be there in a minute." Emmett nodded, walked out the door and closed it behind him. I sighed, then I pulled my hoodie over my head, grabbed Carlisle´s clothes, and walked out to the living room.

"Here you go," I gave the clothes in my hands to Carlisle, and sat down on the sofa, on the opposite side of the table, of three persons I didn´t recognize. Two boys, one girl, all black- haired, the biggest one of the boys was the first one to stand up and coming over to me.

"Hi, I´m Jacob." He reached his hand forward, I took it.

"Jamie."

"Seth," I shook the other boy´s hand.

"Jamie."

"Leah," at last I shook the girl´s hand.

"Jamie." I put my hands in my pockets and leaned backwards.

"So," Jacob began. "Where´s Edward and Bella?"

"Taking her parents to rehabs in Florida." Emmett said. I glared up at him.

"Ooh, ouch." Jacob said.

"Why rehabs?" Seth was curious.

"As if I was gonna tell you," I said.

"Ooh, ouch." Jacob said again, the others laughed. But I just kept on staring right in front of me. Without taking any notice about the others.

"You´re not much of a talker are you?" Seth joked.

"Guess not… I´ll go unpack my stuff." I stood up again, and walked back to my room. Where I started pulling out clothes of my big bag, and I hung and laid them in the wardrobe. I had only a few books, I didn´t really like reading, but these books were actually quite good. I put them in in the book- shelf. I put the DVD and the envelope with photos in the back of one of the drawers under the desk, and put all of my meds on top of it. When I had searched both my backpack and the bag for stuff that needed being put in their places. I sighed, and walked out to the living room again.

"We were thinking…" Esme began.

"Oh, you were thinking, wow." I said.

"Jamie," Carlisle gave me a knowing look.

"Well, what were you thinking?" I asked.

"Well, we´ve already seen that you´ve got asthma…"

"True."

".. and we were wondering if you´re allergic to something that can cause asthma. Attacks or something else."

"Well… if there is a reason I have an asthma attack… it´s usually exertion asthma… this time a year… but I´m allergic to peanuts, pollen and fur."

"Would you be allergic to werewolves?" Seth asked.

"I don´t know," I said slowly. "I´ve never really met any."

"We could check," Seth stood up, I looked to Carlisle.

"It´s all right," he said. "He won´t hurt you" Seth pulled his shirt of and threw it on the couch.

"Ehrm, you´d better close your eyes." He said to me, I nodded and did what I was told, and when I opened them again, there was a huge- sandy- colored wolf in front of me.

"Bloody hell," I said… and then… everything went black.

**So… that´s a good first reaction. **


	14. Rude

I opened my eyes, the whole Cullen family, including Leah and Jacob´s faces was staring down at me, and they all look worried. Oh, how I hated to know they were worried because of me. I turned my head, and then saw Carlisle, who had squatted down next to me.

"That´s embarrassing," I mumbled.

"Don´t worry about that," Carlisle answered me. "Most people either faint or puke." I nodded slightly. "Are you okay?.. does it hurt some place… did you hit your head…" Carlisle felt on the back of my head after bumps.

"Yes, no, no…. I´m fine." I pulled myself into sitting position, and couldn´t help but laugh when I could see Seth´s tale being visible, it seemed like he was hiding behind the sofa.

"He hid, so you wouldn´t faint again, the first thing you did." Emmett said.

"It´s all right," I stood up. "I´ll be more prepared now." Seth stood up, and walked over so he stood next to the couch. A weird, half smothered sound came from him. Almost sounded like he was laughing.

"It´s not funny Seth," Emmett said. Seth now stood, a couple of meters away, right in front of me. I took one step forward, reached out my hand, took another slow step, than another one, and one last until my hand reached Seth´s head. He gave out another sound, and lowered his head a little. I started scratching his head, between his ears, he gave out another sound, to let me know he liked it, and then he licked me in the face with his big tongue.

"Oh, SETH." I took a jump backwards and tried to wipe off the most of his spit with my shirt. "You´re a very bad boy," I joked, as if I was talking to a dog. "We don´t lick people in their faces… and you know that," I pretended to be talking strictly with him, I could hear the others laughing at me. Seth lowered his head, and then he laid down. I smiled slightly.

"I think we´ve made sure, that you´ve got no allergies for werewolves." Carlisle said. I stood up, and walked over to my bedroom. When I came back, my skates hung over one of my shoulders.

"I´m going to the skating hall for a while," I said. "I… I" I felt my pockets "…I forgot my MP3- player… and meds." I half ran back down the hall to my room, and got what I´d forgotten. Then I walked upstairs, out the door, I took my bike and cycled away to the skating hall. I put the music on in my earplugs, before I changed my trainers to my skates, and let the blades float over the ice. Took a jump, made a pirouette, after a couple of hours later, I sat down on one of the benches next to the ice. I put my elbows on my knees as usual.

I hadn´t cried… not once, since Jordan was born and died, almost three years ago. In the beginning, I had been able to hear mum crying in her room at night, but that was just for the first few weeks, I had seen dad cry as well, when he was drunk, his friends had gone home, and he was alone with a bottle of wine. But also that, was only for the first weeks.

But I… I hadn´t cried at all, not once since that day. Not once…

I sighed, where I sat, changed the skates to my trainers again, and hung the skates over my shoulder, then I started cycling back to the Cullens. I cycled slowly, with the skates hanging next to my right hand. When I was at the Cullens, I threw the bike at the ground. And walked into the house and downstairs to the cellar. Where the others were sitting in the sofas. Seth was back in his human body, Nessie was leaning against Jacob with arms around her knees. Emmett. Seth and Jasper were watching football on the TV, Carlisle was reading the newspaper, and Leah, Esme, Alice and Rosalie were talking about something.

None of them really looked up and talked to me when I came into the room, I sighed, and started turning around when Emmett called my name.

"Jamie?"

"Yeah," I turned around towards the sofa.

"Haven´t you got a cell or something, so we can reach you when you´re not at home,"

"Ehrm… let´s think for a sec…" I said ironic. "…. Hold on…. No"

"What about a warmer coat?" He looked down on my raincoat.

"No…"

"But you´ve got an MP3- player?"

"Yes, got it from some boys, switched it to three bags with beer."

"Jamie," Esme said.

"For that I got this, and one of the boys taught me how to download songs to it, for free."

"Jamie," Esme said, once again with that tone in her voice, as if I had done something wrong.

"Esme" I said back, with a bit of a rude tone in my voice.

"I really don´t lie that tone you´re using against us," both Carlisle and Esme now stood up in front of me, none of them looked happy.

"Oh, you don´t like my tone…" I fizzled, and gestured a lot with my hands while I was talking. "well, how about this, I don´t like that you come into my life, sneak into my private- life, and then pull me away from my home, and send my parents to rehabs like, a million miles away, to let them stay there for six months."

"We wanted to help you… we still do…. And if you were being a bit grateful that would be nice" Esme said.

"I was doing just fine. I don´t need your help."

"Jamie," Esme said. "I want you, to go to your room, and think through all this, and I don´t want you to come out again, when you can be nice to us."

"Go to my room… Oh, come on. I am not a child."

"You´re acting like one." I shook my head a little and took a step back.

"…Whatever?" I turned around and walked down the hall to my room, where I closed the door with a bang, threw the skates on the floor, and sat down on the bed with my back against the wall, and my arms around my knees.

**Please review, it makes my day, and I´m spending the whole weekend alone in my house, so I could really need some cheering up**


	15. Author s note

**So… ehrm… Hi! Linnéa speaking… writing… whatever… I hope you forgive me for wasting a whole chapter to an author´s note. But there were a few things I wanted to tell you. **

**First of all… I love you all for following, favorite- mark and reviewing, it really means a lot. **

**And then… about the story, I get ideas from everywhere, when I watch TV, when I read, watch a movie (the whole idea to one of my other stories "love is stronger than hate" actually came from a Swedish movie) what happens to myself or my friends… or enemies. You get it. And I try not to copy certain ideas, even though they get a little bit too similar sometimes. Further in this story there are gonna be parts that affect pieces of glass, vampires that can´t deal with Jamie´s blood, and motorbikes. Though I can tell that if it seems like I have copied one of Stephenie Meyer´s ideas completely, it wasn´t on purpose, or copying anyone else´s idea either. **

**And as well, in this story, so the Cullens wouldn´t reveal Jamie´s secret right away, I´ve "taken away" both Alice´s and Edward´s gifts. Though, Carlisle, Nessie, Bella and Emmett still have theirs. **

**I´ve got a few things left to write, first, this is my first twilight- fan- fiction, so SM´s characters may seem a bit… OOC, though I try my best to make them seem like the original characters. **

**At last, I think Jamie is a bit based on myself, not that I´m that disagreeable, or that my mum´s mental and my dad´s an alcoholic, and my brother died five minutes old, I´d like to think that I´m nice to other people, my parents are the best, and my brother is fourteen years old and perfectly healthy. Jamie is also a lot more sporty than I am, I´m more for reading and writing than doing sports, but there is something, I can´t really say what it is. That make her seem a bit like me. I know one thing, but that I´m not gonna reveal just yet. As it will come out in the story further on. I also know that Jamie´s gonna get more open, and be more nice to the others further on, maybe then I can try to find out what in Jamie´s character it is reminding me of… me. **

**Did I really bore you now? Bet I did... well, I´m stopping now, and I´ve got a new chapter on the way, with some parts affecting glass pieces, and Carlisle and Jamie bonding. **

**Bye. **

**P.s. forgot one think, Christmas and Jamie´s birthday is coming up, and I need tips both on what Jamie can give to the Cullens, and what they´re gonna give to her. **


	16. Pieces

**I´ve realized some parts in the story say that it´s three years since Jordan was born/died and some other says almost three, and to make it all clear, it´s over three years… and nothing else… in fact it´s about three and a half years. **

I didn´t know for how long I stayed on the bed in my room. I was bored, and I knew I had… and that I still acted like a child, but if they wanted me to stay in here until I was gonna said I was sorry, and act nice towards them… well… I wasn´t gonna be the first one to give in. Not a chance.

After… well, god… or more likely Carlisle and Esme knows how long, there was a knock on the door, I sat up half and leaned against my elbows.

"Yes" I said, it opened and Carlisle opened the door, he walked in, Esme also walked through the door after him. I sighed, and sat up fully.

"You haven´t made a sound… for three hours."

"That I did not know," I said, still with an ironic tone in my voice. "No, seriously, I can read the watch, I just didn´t look at it. Oh, and by the way? Haven´t made a single sound? Can´t you guys, like, hear my heartbeats and breaths from like a two hundred mile distance," Carlisle laughed slightly.

"No… our hearing´s good… but not quite that good, and especially not when Emmett and Seth are having a wrestling match on the living room floor." Carlisle sat down in the chair by the desk, and rolled it over to the side of my bed. Esme sat down on the foot of my bed, I backed and leaned my back against the wall.

"Jamie, love," Esme said. "We just wanna help you. But we can´t do that if you won´t let us."

"I don´t need your help." I mumbled, I also had my arms crossed over my chest. "I was doing just fine."

"Jamie," Carlisle leaned forward a bit. "You can keep on trying to convince yourself about that, but we all know it´s not true, don´t we?" I shrugged.

"I guess." I mumbled.

"Emmett said you had a wound on your shoulder…" Carlisle said. "Would you mind if I take a look?"

"It´s a scar, not a wound." I said. "It´s been there for almost three years, it´s not like you could do anything about it."

"Maybe there is… may I?" I sighed, pulled my left arm out of the sleeve, and pulled the shirts up so he could see the scar.

"What happened here?" I snitched when he laid his cold hands on my shoulder.

"Ehrm… I ran through the house, fell on a window… managed to catch the fall before my head and the rest went through." This story was a lie, but I had told it many times, though I wasn´t sure if Carlisle would see through my lies or not. He looked up a bit and nodded slightly.

"Really?"

"Mhm." I had a feeling neither Carlisle or Esme believed me. But they didn´t say anything else.

"How long ago did this happen?" Carlisle asked.

"Three and a half years."

"It still hurts?"

"Sometimes."

"Where?" I pointed to a spot right next to my collar bone. He felt the area with his fingers, and then said.

"No wonder, you´ve still got pieces of glass there. You could just come with me to my office, I´ll get them out of there okay?"

"Yeah sure." I pulled my shirt on fully again, and followed Carlisle out in the hallway, and to his office. Where I sat down on the desk, and he got out something, he had his back towards me, so I could not see what it was.

"Ehrm… Carlisle… what you doing?" I asked.

"Just fixing an injection with local anesthesia." Carlisle didn´t look at me, but as he raised his hands to check the dose of the injection, I could spot the needle, and I could feel all the colour disappearing from my face.

"Jeez," I whispered, in my eyes, the needle looked huge, and just the thought that this was going into my shoulder, made me shiver. I jumped down from the desk, and span around so I was turned towards Carlisle, when he turned around, I could see the full needle that he held.

"Oh, no you don´t" I said, half smothered, and backed away slowly. Carlisle held up the needle, and raised one eyebrow.

"You´re afraid of needles?"

"Like…. Hell." I breathed.

"Okay… Jamie," he said with a calm tone. "I want you to sit back at the desktop…"

"No."

"Take some deep breaths,"

"Nope."

"Just relax, think about something else…."

"Nah…"

"And this will be over in a few seconds…"

"I said NO."

"Or I could just shout for some to hold you still while I do it."

"Come on," I said. "I am not a child."

"Then do as your told."

"FINE." I took a step forward, pulled my hoodie and my T- shirt off, I hesitated a second before pulling the T- shirt off. Then I picked my hoodie up from the floor, held it in front of me while using one hand and arm to pull the T- shirt off. I kept on pressing my hoodie to my chest, held it unfolded so it covered the whole front of my upper body. I laid the T- shirt over the back of a chair, and walked over to sit on the desktop. Carlisle took out some more equipment from his bag,

"You can talk to me if you want," he said.

"About what?"

"Whatever you want… nothing special, just so you have something else to think about then the needle."

"I don´t know… you start… talking I mean… just… not about my family all right?"

"Sure, well… I guess you like ice skating," I looked away when he started fixing with the needle again, and put it to my shoulder. I gripped my hands around the curtain in my hoodie, as hard as I could.

"Well… Yes… Yes I do… It makes me feel good." Carlisle had now pulled the needle of my shoulder again, and I could feel the feeling in it disappear.

"How long have you lived here in Maine?" I asked. "Guess you have to move ´round a lot, due to the fact that you don´t get older!" Carlisle chuckled, and got a scalpel out of his bag.

"That you´re right about." He said. "We moved here about a year ago, before that it was Chicago, and before that a small village outside Washington, that´s where we found Bella. Nessie said you spoke with a Scottish accent when you weren´t thinking about it once… how long you´ve lived in Maine?"

"Nine years, we moved here just after my sixth birthday," Carlisle nodded. He had made an incision and was now looking into the gash. He got another equipment and reached it into the wound. A couple of seconds later he pulled it out, with a small piece of glass hanging from it.

"And here´s the little devil." He joked. "I can´t see any more glass her, does it feel like there´s anything left." I shook my head.

"Good," Carlisle got equipment for stitching the wound. "So where were we? You moved here just after your sixth birthday…"

"How old are you now?"

"Fourteen." I said. "We… we moved here… we thought it would be a new start, dad would stop drinking, mum would get a job. I would get some new friends… and I did… but I was the only one succeeding the plan, I got friends with a pair of twins… Rosie and Mary Taylor. We used to play every day at school, every day for years. Then it was time for Junior High, and we went to two different schools… and then… things like, fashion and make- up and stuff started mattering. Everyone would have, the most fashionable clothes, shoes, you name it. I could never afford any of it, no nothing. Not that I cared about it… but everyone else did… I haven´t met the twins for years, now they´re at high school, like me, but they live in Florida, at their dad´s… I´m sorry… I shouldn´t bother you with this, you´ve got enough to think about already."

"Don´t worry, you´re never a bother. Not many things are a bother for someone that´s been immortal for over three hundred and fifty years. Especially not other people´s stories." Carlisle placed a plaster on my shoulder and pressed it so it would stick. Carlisle laid his fingers under my chin for a split second.

"Thanks." I said, stood up and pulled my T-shirt on again. While walking out of Carlisle´s office, and towards the living room, when I suddenly remembered something, and I walked back to Carlisle´s office.

"Carlisle?" I leaned against the door- frame.

"Yeah."

"When we´d just met, you read my files at the hospital, and you´d told Emmett and the others about the fact that I had a brother. "

"Yeah."

"Was that the only thing you told them about me and my family?"

"Yes… why?"

"So… you didn´t tell them… about my… Addy?"

"Addy?"

"Ad- dy?" I gave him a meaning look. And he nodded.

"Yeah… yeah now I understand… no, if I´d tell anyone about that, I´d probably lose my job, obligation to observe silence you know."

"Yes… of course." I turned around.

"Jamie?"

"Yes?" I turned around.

"Come in for a minute." He pointed to the desktop, and I sat down again. He sat down in his chair, and leaned forward.

"Jamie, now I need you to listen to me very carefully because this is very, very important."

"Yes."

"Look, you know we´re vampires, and you know about the wolves. And what´s so important is, you must not tell anyone. Not a single person, even if we have some of our vampire- friends here, you might have to lie, pretend like you don´t know anything. Everything for your own safety, do you understand?"

"Yes, yes of course. And no, I won´t tell anyone… promise."

"Thanks." I stood up again, and walked out to the living room.

"Oh, Jamie." Alice said.

"Yeah."

"When´s your birthday?"

"January the fifteenth, why?"

"Well, we´ll have to have a party."

"No Alice… please."

"Alice is gonna throw you a part whether you like it or not" Emmett said. "There´s not much to celebrate when you´re immortal."

"Oh, by the way, what do you want for Christmas?" Alice asked. I sighed.

"Look, Alice, and you others too. I hate Christmas, I hate new year´s eve, Easter, fourth of July, thanksgiving and Halloween. And, more than anything else, I hate my birthday, so… just don´t make a big deal of it."

"It won´t help." Emmett said. "She´ll throw you a party, believe me."

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"Nothing."

"There´s got to be something."

"Nah."

"Well, if you don´t wanna say it… "Alice grabbed a pen and a paper, and gave it to me. "Write a list." I raised an eyebrow, sighed again, then I grabbed the pen and the paper, and walked over to my room, and sat down by the desk to write a list. I wrote a few things on the list, erased a few, wrote something else, erased again and wrote new stuff. After most parts of an hour, I was finished with it.

"Here you go…" I threw the list to Alice, she started reading it, while Emmett was reading it from behind her.

"What kind of person wants a bus pass for Christmas?" Emmett asked.

"Well… how about, a person that´s too young to have a driving license, don´t wanna ask someone to drive her every time she wants to go somewhere, but still want to get out of the house every once in a while."

"I can see your point."

"Good."

"So, can we keep it or…"

"No, I can take it." I took the list, and walked back to my room. Where I sat down on my bed, and read through my list once again.

_New skates (figuring skates, not for hockey)_

_A loaded bus pass_

_New skates _

_Cellphone_

_New skates_

_Laptop _

_New skates _

_Money or gift cards_

_New skates_

_Winter- coat_

_New skates_

_Winter- shoes_

_New skates_

_Sneakers_

_New skates_

"_Ice princess" the movie_

_New skates_

_Glee- DVD:s box_

_New skates_

_Did I mention new skates?_

I smiled a bit at my own joke, I had written "new skates" eleven times. And even though I actually really needed new skates, I had hoped they would get the joke.

**Alice´s pov **

"Carlisle?" I called out when he came walking together with Esme. "We asked Jamie to write a list of what she want for Christmas."

"Oh yeah, what did she write?" They stopped.

"New skates, she wrote it eleven times." Carlisle chuckled.

"Guess that´s what she´s getting then." He said, and then he and Esme walked upstairs.

"Hey guys," Emmett leaned forward. "About that bus pass…"

"Yeah…"

"Well, maybe we can get her one of those for Christmas, but I´ve got an idea of what we could give her for her birthday…"

**So, what is Emmett planning, and what does Addy mean?... I know. **


	17. Presents

**So, I´ve decided everyone´s Christmas presents for this story, took a while, but thanks to "actressCeCe" for giving me heaps of ideas.  
And as you can see, I´ve changed the picture for this, found the pic on Google. The girl have got nothing to do with the story, but if you look closely, or make the picture bigger, you can see that she has tape over her mouth, with the text. "If you tell anyone I´ll kill you." **

"Where is everybody?" I asked Carlisle, he was on his way back to his office.

"Bella and Edward is with your parents, they should call any minute now. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Nessie, and the wolf pack are out hunting, they´d be back tomorrow night, Esme´s in the kitchen. I´m sure she would love some company." I nodded, and half ran upstairs to the kitchen.

"Esme?" I walked into the kitchen, and jumped up on one of the high chairs by the kitchen bench, and leaned against the bench.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to make you some dinner."

"Esme?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you ´bout something?"

"Yes, of course, anything. Just let me finish this, and we´ll talk while you´re eating." I nodded, and rested my chin in my hands. Carlisle also came walking into the kitchen, when the phone was ringing, I looked up. Carlisle got it, and I clenched my hands, and could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

"Dr. Cullen. Oh, hi Bella. How did it go… yes… yes… yes…. I´ll tell her that, see you tomorrow… bye." I stopped breathing when Carlisle put the phone back in his pocket.

"Jamie," Carlisle sat down on the chair next to me. I nodded, and he continued. "That was Bella calling, and as you know she and Edward have brought your parents to some rehabs."

"Yes."

"You know, I told you it would probably be around six months before they come back…"

"Yes."

"Turned out, it´s gonna be a little longer than expected."

"Yes."

"They are gonna be back here in… about the beginning of August."

"BEGINNING OF AUGUST? But that´s…" I counted on my fingers. "Almost eight months away. Oh." I dunked my head in the bench, and kept my head down. Carlisle ruffled with his hand in my hair.

"Don´t." I sat up again. "I… I need to be alone for a minute." I jumped down from the chair, and walked downstairs and to my room. I sat down on the floor with my back against the bed, and put my head in my hands. I didn´t cry, didn´t scream… nothing. I sat like that for a couple of minutes, then there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" I said. Esme opened the door and came in.

"Dinner´s ready."

"I´m not hungry."

"Try to eat something then, and there was something you wanted to ask, wasn´t it." I sighed, and stood up.

"Yes." I walked past her. "Oh, and that broken lock, that was Emmett, not me." I walked upstairs in silence, and sat down by the kitchen bench, where they stood a plate with my food, and a glass of water, I grabbed the fork, but didn´t eat, and just sat there, pushing the food back and forth on the plate.

"What was it that you wanted to ask?"

"I wanted to ask… well… it´ll be Christmas soon, and I wanted to get Christmas presents for each and every one of you, but…. I don´t really know what."

"All right… well, Alice is interested in fashion and clothes, so anything that she´ll love." I nodded. "Rosalie, she spends a lot of time into her appearance, she loves anything about clothes or make- up. Bella doesn´t really like receiving gifts, but she likes reading, especially the classics. Nessie likes reading, and music. Those are the girls. Well, about the boys, Edward is the musician and has a huge collection of CD:S and LP:s. Though he always looking for those he do not have. Jasper is a former soldier, so he loves anything about any war… or about Texas. Emmett loves sports, especially baseball." I nodded.

"Which one is his favorite team?" I asked.

"The winning team." Esme laughed, and I smiled.

"So, how ´bout you and Carlisle."

"You know what would make us really happy?"

"No."

"If you gave us something you had done yourself." I nodded.

"Esme?"

"Yes."

"I´ve got an idea for what to give Carlisle, but… I´d need like, a family photo or something like that for it, have you got one I could have?"

"Of course." Esme disappeared for a couple of minutes and came back with a photo of all the Cullens, a group photo with them all in base- ball- clothing's and base-ball equipment in their hands.

"Is this good?"

"Yeah, it´s great, thanks."

"You´re welcome." I finished eating, Esme took the plate and the other stuff, before I had the time to protest and say that I would do it.

"I´m… I´m just gonna go home and get some… stuff…" I said, grabbed the photo and was on my way out of the room when…

"Jamie?"

"Yeah."

"Try not to waste too much money okay?"

"Okay." The fact that I didn´t have too much money to waste I wouldn´t have to tell Esme, when I walked to my room and left the photo, before grabbing my keys, pulling my jacket and backpack on and cycling to my old home.

I´d had one period during my childhood when I loved scrapbooking, and though I didn´t really had no pictures to do it with, and I was really bad at it, I could always do something with all the papers and the stickers. It was all that equipment I got when I was at home. I pulled out some black papers and a gold pen. That I put in my backpack. And that I put the rest of the stuff back in my wardrobe, I lifted a plank in the floor in my room. The little space under the plank was where I´d hid all the money I saved. I took them up and counted them, 73 dollars, not too much but I was sure I would think of something. I put the money in my pocket, and then I left the house for the third time today. This time I left my bike, the roads was starting to get too slippery for cycling anyway.

**So, I know it isn´t very long, but I gotta go now. Please review. **


	18. Trick and treat her bad

**I´m so sorry  
I only own… well, my own characters, Cullens belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

I sat in my room, trying to write down a poem I had found on the internet, with a gold pen on a black paper, I tried to make the letters look as nice as I could do them, but my handwriting was really bad, and it took me several seconds on each letter.

Carlisle´s gift I had already finished, it had taken some time that one too, to write just "one for all and all for love" on a black paper, and then gluing the photo I had gotten from Esme on the paper. I had lent Emmett´s laptop for trying to find some text, that I could write with a gold pen on a black paper, and then frame and give to Esme as a gift for Christmas. A pile of balls of black papers laid in the corner now, I had thrown them there each time I didn´t succeed with writing the poem nice enough. I had wanted to find just some short text from the bible or something, but I had found a poem that I really liked, it would take two papers, but I didn´t care, I really liked it, and I was sure Esme would too.

I hadn´t decided either of Jasper´s, Alice´s, Emmett´s, Rosalie´s, Edward´s Bella´s or Nessie´s gifts yet. But I was sure I was gonna find something. I would just go into town someday and see what I could find.

It took all the time to next Monday the 18:th, until I got into town after school and started looking for gifts. I started with a clothes´ and make up store. There was a basket, right inside the door, with a sign that said 7 dollars / item, bargains. I walked over to the basket, and found a black beret with these sort of, plastic pieces that looked like diamonds, and a little package with three different nail- polish´s (dark red, dark- pink and dark- green) I bought the beret for Alice, and the nail- polish for Rosalie, then I walked over to another store, where I found frames for Carlisle´s and Esme´s gifts, and Christmas wrapping. After that, I had 39 dollars left, and I sat down on a bench, to think through how I would make the money last for gifts for Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Bella and Nessie. I looked around and me, and spotted one of these red- cross- second- hand- shops, maybe I could find something there, I walked over to it, pushed the door open and walked in.

To the left there were shelves and shelves of books, movies and CD:s there even was two big boxes with LP:s. I walked over to them first and started looking through them to see if I could find something for Edward. I found one, "Cartoon- raccoons" it said on the cover, and the cover had (of course) painted raccoons on it. I laughed a bit, and put it in my basket, and started looking through the shelves with CD:s, I found one with some singer I hadn´t heard of before, "stand by for…" by Måns Zelmerlöw… hmm, weird name. But I put it in my basket for Nessie, she would probably like it. In the shelves with books I found a book with pictures from the second world war, and a copy of "a little princess" (one of the few books I actually liked myself) for Bella. Then there was only one left, what should I buy for Emmett? I looked around the shelves, and found a binder with loads of baseball- cards, I looked at the price, gosh, who sell these things for 15 dollars, it could be worth thousands. I knew he would probably have loads of the cards, but I decided to buy it for him anyways. And then I was done, just the paying left, I laid up all the things on the counter the cashier counted the prices and then said…

"41 dollars," I counted my money, one time, two times.

"Oh kid," the cashier said. "Didn´t you hear me, forty- one dollars." I handed over all the money I´d got, the cashier counted them, then laid them down on the counter.

"DIDN´T you hear me kid, I said forty- one dollars," I realized the cashier was a bit like me, now when he was angry, he had stopped thinking about what he was saying, he had a really- really Scottish accent, I snatched, and felt a sting of pain at the accent. The boy was angry, I could see that, he asked another woman working in the store to take the other customers, and then he pulled me to the side, why he did that I could not see, because he shouted at me, so everyone in the store started turning around and stare.

"You TRYING TO TRICK ME KID?" his face was red.

"No… no, I swear I didn´t, I… I´m gonna," frenetic, I searched through my pockets, two dollars, two dollars that was all that I needed… I searched through them once… twice, even a third time, while the cashier kept on hissing, and the others were just staring.

"Two dollars too less," I whispered, more to myself than to the cashier.

"So you were trying to trick me kid, oi, give me your mum´s number." That pain almost was unbearable, my mum´s number? If only he knew… if only he knew. I shook my head.

"So what about your dad´s?" he now held his face really close to mine. I pulled my rucksack off, and started searching for money in it. Then I shook my head again. When the cashier took one step closer to me, I held up my rucksack in front of me for protection, but it didn´t help much when he pushed me, and I fell into a table with magazines. Then, finally the other customers started to react, a man working in the store (the boss) ran to the cashier, hissing and red in his face.

A nice lady helped me up on my feet. I opened my bag and checked so every gift I had bought, was still in one piece each. They were. So I looked back to the cashier and his boss.

"LEIGH." The boss hissed, I guessed Leigh was the cashier´s name. "I´ve had enough of you, you come too late for your shifts, you´re impolite to the customers, you´ve been taking money, and now what? You push a little girl to the floor, FOR TWO DOLLARS. Now you´re fired, go pack your stuff, and LEAVE, before I call the police."

"There´ll be no need for that, a man, probably in his mid- forty´s stepped forward.

"Police- officer Mason." The boss said. The police- officer nodded and said something I could not hear. Police- officer Mason turned to me, he bent down to my level.

"You´re okay kiddo?" I nodded. "Hey, you two come here," Leigh and his boss came to us. "Could we go somewhere more private?" The boss nodded.

"Leigh, go take the stuff this girl was about to buy, take the money she gave you with you and come with us." Leigh took the stuff, and we walked to a room behind the store.

"What´s your name?" Mason asked me. I decided to lie, and took the first name I could think of.

"Kiana Thomas." Kiana Thomas actually was the worst bully of them all at my school, and the champion of the figure- skating team.

"Really?" Leigh asked, and I could see that they all three saw I was lying. I sighed.

"Jamie Dylan." I mumbled. Mason nodded and wrote down something in a small notebook he had gotten up from his pocket.

"So, Jamie, could you tell me what happened?"

"Okay, ehrm, I walked in here, because I needed to get gifts for Christmas for… some… special friends, it was forty one dollars, and I only had thirty nine…. And… that´s all I know."

"Think you left something out kid." Leigh spat. "You were trying to trick me weren´t ya?"

"No I wasn´t." Mason nodded.

"So, Leigh is it?" he asked. Leigh nodded. "Well, since I´m actually not at work right now. I´m gonna call in some of my colleagues, don´t think you get away with pushing a child." Leigh looked furious, but nodded, as officer Mason made his call. I stood with my hands in my pockets, the boss tried to offer me a glass of water, to cool my nerves he said. But I held up my hand and shook my head, so he drank it himself.

"So," officer Mason turned towards me when Leigh had gone off. "Miss Dylan…"

"Jamie." Officer Mason nodded.

"Jamie, so, have I understood this right, you wanted to buy these things," he pointed to the things on the table. "But didn´t have enough money, Leigh thought you were trying to trick him, and he walked around the counter, and first shouted at you, and then pushed you." I nodded.

"I wasn´t trying to trick him sir, I swear I wasn´t. I´d never… "

"Hold on a second, do you know somebody named Jean Dylan?" officer Mason asked, I nodded. He smiled.

"That´s my father." I muttered.

"Father? How is my old man, we use to go to school together, we were like best friends? Haven´t seen him since he moved to Scotland with that girl, he must have moved back here then?" I nodded.

"We moved here nine years ago."

"Oh, can´t believe I haven´t seen him then, how is he?"

"He… ehrm…. He…" I thought about telling another lie, but it didn´t work the last time. "… he… is…. He´s in… a rehab."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, wanna barge into my private life anymore, because I really don´t wanna talk anymore about it."

"Oh, sorry, well, I guess we´ll have to call your mother then… can you give me her number?"

"No."

"Why not make this easy for all of us?"

"One, I´ve got no phone too check her number in. Two, She´s got no phone. Three, she´s in rehab too."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You´re living on your own? I mean… how old are you…. Twelve?" It was clear that Mason didn´t want to be mean or something, he just guessed.

"Fourteen actually, and no, I live with the Cullens."

"Dr. Cullen´s." Mason looked up from his notebook. I sighed.

"No, Santa Claus´ Cullens… well of course it´s with Dr. Cullen´s how many Cullens are there in Bangor." Officer Mason nodded slightly and put his notebook in one of his pockets. He pulled up his phone.

"Have you got Dr. Cullen´s number?"

"No."

"Hold on," the boss said. "I can find it here…"

"Oh please don´t call Carlisle, please don´t, I´ll do anything, please, please, I was trying to get Christmas gifts for him and the others, please don´t call, please." I begged. Officer Mason bit his lip, then bent down so he reached my level again.

"Jamie, can you look me in the eyes, and tell me, for real, that you weren´t trying to trick Leigh." I looked officer Mason deep in his brown eyes.

"I swear, I did not try to trick Leigh, or steal anything." I said slowly. Officer Mason nodded.

"Now, I´m gonna let you go on two conditions,"

"Anything."

"The first, do not ever steal, or even try to steal, or do another crime, that you know it´s wrong."

"I promise."

"Second, and if you help me with this I´m gonna pay the two dollars you didn´t have."

"I… I can´t let you do that."

"I want to, but only if you help me find a gift for my fifteen year old daughter, I´m not really good at gifts." I sighed.

"Okay, I´ll help you." Officer Mason smiled, then pulled up his wallet and reached the boss two dollars.

"No," the boss said. "After how Leigh treated her, she could have the things for free."

"Please take the money, then I can move on, and just forget all this." The boss smiled, and now, for the first time I spotted his name on the right side of his chest. He took the money.

"Thank you, Oliver." I said, and put the things I had bought in my rucksack. Then I walked out of the store, and I and Officer Mason started walking down the street to find some good place to find a gift for his daughter.

"I would appreciate if you don´t tell anyone about what I did today," Officer Mason said after a while. "My reputation could get hurt if it reaches the police- station." I nodded.

"Don´t worry, I´m not." I said. "Officer Mason?"

"Yes."

"I really appreciated what you did. Thanks."

"You´re welcome."

**It was kinda hard finding a good place to stop this chapter, but I´m stopping right there. **

**Oh, and I really don´t think there was any real band called Cartoon raccoons, I just made something up. And I like raccoons so…**

**So, I´ve made some research, first I asked a friend (here on fanfiction) for a state in America, where it´s very cold winters, and rainy summers, she answered Maine. I knew that the city needed to have a macy´s. so I just searched for "Macy´s Maine" and one of the places was Bangor. So, I´ve done some research about Bangor High School, and the mall. BUT, I don´t know the distances between different places, so I´ll just make those suit with the storylines. AND, NONE of the persons are real. If someone shares a name with a real person, then it´s a mistake, and I´m really sorry. **


	19. Trouble

**So, you know, this story is in the future, and I can´t predict what is gonna be fashion- and- not- fashion in the future, so whatever people are wearing, I´ll just make them go with the storylines. **

"So, where should we go?" Officer Mason asked me. I shrugged.

"I don´t know," I said. "What do you wanna get for her?"

"I don´t know that´s why I asked you for help. But I´m flying to Los Angeles tonight, so I have only got today left."

"Wow… That´s where she lives?"

"Yes, Her name is Nikki by the way."

"What does she like doing then?"

"She likes dancing… and kind of anything that involves playing music so loud I can´t hear my own thoughts." I smiled.

"Well… why not just buy her some outfit?" I asked. Officer Mason looked confused.

"Some what?"

"Outfit, an outfit is what you´re wearing. Your outfit today for example, is your outfit today, baggy- jeans, black shoes, and a dark- green jacket. Get it?"

"I think so, so you could say that your outfit today…" he looked at my clothes. "Black sweat pants, trainers and a jacket that looks way too cold to wear in December." I chuckled.

"Okay, you´ve got it." I said. "Well, how does an outfit sound then?"

"Well, why not?"

After a while, Officer Mason had bought a light- purple baggy linen, with the text "keep calm and dance on" and a pair of short jeans- shorts, Officer Mason had shook his head when I suggested it, asking me if people really wore that short pants. I had face- palmed, and told him that he was a bit after those times, but he had decided to buy it. He had also walked into build- a- bear, and bought a bear dressed as a ballet- dancer. I had dissuaded him to do it, but he didn´t want to listen, and even I had to admit that the teddy was quite cute.

"So, that´s it then, goodbye Jamie." He said before he walked to the parking- garage, and I was about to walk towards the road home.

"Bye officer Mason. I hope Nikki likes the gifts." I turned around, and faced the walk home. Well, I had to walk, I had no money for the bus, and no bus card. But I realized that with walking, it would probably take me at least two hours.

It was almost dark outside, and I was worried about all the cars, but I didn´t really have a choice but walking. Until I saw that someone slowed down. When it got closer I recognized Carlisle´s black Mercedes. He rolled down the window on his side, and shouted over the traffic.

"Jamie, what you´re doing? Come on, get in the car, it´s dangerous on the road." I looked around.

"I´m not as fast as you are." I joked, "I can´t run across the road without getting killed."

"Just, just stay there, I´ll see if I can turn the car." He rolled up the window and drove away. I stood still, and a couple of minutes later I saw Carlisle´s car again. He stopped and as fast as I could. I stepped into the car next to him. I put my rucksack between my feet on the floor, before I reached for the seatbelt.

"Have you been shopping for Christmas gifts?" he asked.

"Yeah. I… I…" I tried to come up with an excuse for why I had been walking home. But couldn´t come up with anything but the truth.

"…I have no money left, so I walked because I couldn´t pay for the bus."

"You´ve got the school card haven´t you? For the bus I mean!"

"I don´t know if I can even ride with that card this time a day… I didn´t try, thought I had had enough fiascos for one day."

"Why what happened?" I sighed, and told Carlisle the whole story, about Leigh, Oliver and officer Mason. He chuckled at the story.

"You kind of remind me of the human Bella, she sure did have a talent of getting into trouble when we least expected it." I smiled, and hummed on "I knew you were trouble" by Taylor Swift, Carlisle chuckled again. And drove up onto the driveway in front of the Cullen´s manor.

When I came downstairs to the cellar, Jasper, Edward and Emmett sat in the sofa, playing some racing video- game. They were shouting at each other, competing of course. Or, actually, most of the shouts came from Emmett. I smiled, turned around and walked over to my room. I put the papers with the poem to Esme in the frame, and wrapped it. I wanted to ask Esme about the other Christmas presents so I put the photo to Carlisle in its frame too, and then I hid everything in my backpack again, and then walked around the house, trying to find Esme.

First I walked to the kitchen, no Esme there. She wasn´t in the kitchen either, and Carlisle´s study was empty. Now my only option was if she and Carlisle were in their bedroom, and I didn´t wanna interrupt them, so I walked first to the kitchen, and got a cola, and then went back downstairs where Emmett had just lost the game against Jasper and Edward. The girls also sat in another sofa in the living room now, except for Nessie, who was spending the night at Jacob´s. I sat down on the edge of one of the sofas and looked to Bella.

"Bella!" I began. "Carlisle said that when you were human, you seemed to have a talent to get into trouble… what did you do?" Emmett snorted with laughter, and Edward chuckled.

"At first… well… I fell in love with a vampire… who fell in love with me. That´s bad enough, a while later, I had the vampire, a werewolf and a human guy fighting over me." I smiled. "Then… well, it would take a year to tell you all of it, but I was almost killed by different vampires three times, then I broke my hand by punching the werewolf in the face. And at last, I got pregnant… with a vampire father, and almost got killed both during the pregnancy and the birth. And that´s to make a long story short."

"The birth then… how did it go… for the baby I mean?"

"It´s Nessie," Edward said, I had just taken a big sip from my coke, and at Edward´s answer, I choked, which got me spitting it all out at once, and Rosalie happened to be the closest, so she got it all over her.

"I´m… sorry… Ros… alie" I said between the coughs. All the others were biting their lips, trying to suppress laughter. Even though Emmett now laughed so hard he had laid down on the floor, shaking of laughter. Rosalie snorted, and left to get the coke off her clothes and hair. And I… well, I was still coughing so hard I felt like I was gonna choke. Should have understood Carlisle and Esme would soon be here too, and if I had guessed that, I would have been right.

"Jamie are you all right?" Esme asked. I nodded and showed her thumbs up.

"What´s so funny?" Carlisle looked to the others, while I tried to stop coughing.

"Jamie sprayed coke all over Rose." Alice answered, Carlisle looked to me, and raised an eyebrow.

"I didn´t do it on purpose." I defended myself. "Esme, I was looking for you earlier." I stood up, and told her to come with me, then I walked before her to my room. Esme closed the door behind us, and I pulled out the Christmas gifts from my rucksack, and laid them on the desktop, then I pointed to them one at the time.

"Carlisle, Jasper, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Alice, Rosalie." I put my hands in my pockets. "So, do you think they´ll like their gifts?"

"Yes, it looks really good." I nodded.

"Good." I answered her. "I´ve got one for you too, but I´ve already wrapped it and of course I couldn´t let you see it… Esme?"

"Yes dear."

"Now I know, I know Bella´s story of how she became a vampire, and Nessie´s but what´s yours? And the others?" Esme smiled slightly.

"Well… I think most of the others just left to go to Bella´s and Edward´s house. Carlisle´s still at home, we can tell you ours, but Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Edward, they should probably tell you their story themselves. Decide for themselves how much they want you to know." I nodded.

"I´m just gonna wrap those gifts." I said and started it, then I walked out to the living room again, where Carlisle and Esme already were. I jumped over the back of the sofa, a bit of a fun way to sit down in it, and leaned against the high elbow rests. While I pulled my knees up to my chin, while I started listening to Carlisle´s story.

**So, I´m gonna stop right there.  
I´ve read through Esme´s part in this, official guide to the twilight saga, and I´ve realized that Esme´s son hasn´t really got a name. So, I´m gonna just give him one, and it´s gonna be either David or Kevin, why? David means beloved, Kevin handsome beloved. So… please help me choose. **


	20. Stories

**This story is going to be a Sims 3- series, you´ve got the link to it on my profile.  
I have written a Twilight- one- shot, called "my second family" please read it and review.  
I´ve decided to keep Edward´s gift, though I´m changing it a little. **

We stood in Carlisle´s office, me, Carlisle and Esme, Carlisle had pointed out all the pictures on the big banner on the wall. He had just told me the last parts of it. I didn´t say anything at first, I looked to the part where the Volturi were painted.

"Carlisle?" I said at last.

"Yes?"

"What would happen if the Volturi found out about me? Would they kill me?... Kill you?"

"First of all, you and I would go to Italy. They´d wanna meet you, ask some questions, but don´t worry, Aro is a good friend of mine, and can be discussed with, I´m not letting him touch you. And due to that you found out for yourself, they can´t kill me, I haven´t done anything wrong, neither have you."

"But Aro doesn´t know that does he?"

"In fact, if Aro takes your hand, he can see every thought you´ve ever thought. Including finding out about vampires. Some of the world´s vampires have got gifts like that, Edward, Jasper, Bella, Emmett, and Nessie too."

"What do they have?"

"Edward´s similar to Aro´s though he can only see the words, or pictures your thinking at the moment, and his skin, needs to touch your skin for him to see it. Loads of vampires, have problems with human blood, even though we´re vegetarian… we only drink animal blood. Especially new- born have problem with that. Bella have always seemed to have an ability to control that will. Emmett´s strong, even stronger than most vampires, Nessie can show anyone a picture from her head, if she lay her hand on their cheek. Jasper can feel the feelings from everyone and anyone in the same room as him, he can also control them. If someone´s really stressed out, he can make them calmer, if someone needs to be more stressed out, then he can make them do that too." I nodded, then I looked to Esme.

"What´s your story?" Even though I looked to Esme, Carlisle was the first one to answer it. He laid his hand on my shoulder blade.

"Come on, we´ll go sit down in the living room." I shook Carlisle´s hand off, and walked after them down to the couches in the living room. I sat down in the corner, pulled my feet up as usual, as Carlisle began speaking.

"Esme was born in the late 1800:s and when she grew up, women, and even younger girls were expected to be and act in certain ways. Things like, wearing pants, climbing trees and such, were only for boys." Carlisle stopped talking, he looked to Esme, who continued the story.

"I found it quite hard to live up to the expectations. But there wasn´t much to do, my father was quite strict. One day, when my dad was at his work, I climbed up a tree in our garden. I was gonna climb down before he got home, but I forgot about time, and when I saw him coming up the street I tried getting down as fast as possible. I slipped and fell. I broke my leg, and when we went to the doctor´s it turned out our usual doctor was out of town." I smiled slightly when I understood where this was going. "Instead I got to see Dr. Cullen. I feel in love so deeply already at the first sight…"

"So did I…" Carlisle filled in.

"But I was sixteen, too young for him. So the years passed, and I tried forgetting about him, as I grew older, a few men, came to my dad about proposing to me. And when I didn´t wanna accept any of them at first, my dad chose for me. The man he chose was a man named Charles Evenson." When Esme spoke the name of Charles, Carlisle clenched his fists around the cloth of his jeans, then I heard a sound I never had heard before, a sound I maybe should hope never to hear again. From Carlisle´s chest, came a low growl, I had never heard a sound like that before, and at the same time, I couldn´t help but thinking what about Charles it was that made Carlisle so angry. Yes, he had maybe been married to Esme, but I didn´t think of that Carlisle would be the person… hrm, vampire that would be angry for that thing´s sake. Esme continued.

"I accepted, on the outside, Charles seemed like a nice man. But when we got married, and lived together, he turned out to be someone different, he abused me, I tried telling my parents about it, but they told me to be a good wife, and just go with it. It was a relief when he left for the first world war, and when he came back unhurt in 1919, it was a nightmare. Not long after that, I discovered I was pregnant, I used the baby as an excuse to run away from him, stayed at a friends´ and kept on running when he came after me." Esme made a pause in the talking, Carlisle layed his arm around her shoulders, and with the other hand, he took hers. Esme took a deep breath before continuing.

"I gave birth to the baby, a beautiful boy that I named David, David means beloved of God, and I loved David, just as if he had been my own flesh and blood, with a love, I never had felt before. Two days old, David died of a pneumonia. That sorrow, it was the worst I had ever felt, and it seemed infinite, that for, suicide seemed like the only way out of it. I jumped from a cliff, Carlisle found me, and he realized he couldn´t save me the… usual way."

"But I couldn´t let her go, already then, I loved Esme more than I ever thought I could love someone. I couldn´t let her go." Carlisle continued. "I changed her, Getting changed into a vampire, is a three days long, painful progress, and I wasn´t sure I had done the right thing. Though, when my love woke up, and I told her what she had become, she was more sure than I was, that I had done everything right, though Esme never lost… and never will lose, her motherly instincts." I didn´t look at either Carlisle or Esme, I looked to the floor, with my arms crossed over my chest, I fingered with the laces on one of my shoes.

"Jamie dear…" Esme began, but I took over before she could continue.

"I´m going out for a while." I stood up, turned around and half ran up the stairs, I pulled my jacket on after I had gotten out the door, walked down the road, after a while, I climbed up a tree, I didn´t care about how slippery the tree had gotten from the snow. And soon, I was maybe two meters over the ground, sitting on a wide branch, and leaning against the trunk.

Thoughts were spinning in my head, David, Jordan… climbing trees, falling, and breaking bones… Esme and Carlisle… Charles and my father, my mum and Esme´s parents. After a while, I shook the thoughts off me, climbed down the tree and walked back home, I walked downstairs, where Carlisle and Esme still sat, at the exact same spots where they sat when I walked outside. I leaned over the back over the sofa and looked at them both.

"I fell down a tree once," I said. "I broke my foot, I met Carlisle thanks to an accident, and I came back when I had lost hope about every other solution. A child died in my arms, a child I loved over everything else… someone abused me and the ones who knew didn´t care." I stopped talking. "Maybe we´re more alike than I knew." I looked to my watch, tried to save some time, when I realized it was almost midnight. "I´m going to bed, good night."

"Sweet dreams."

"Night." I stood up fully, walked over to the bathroom to make myself ready for bed, walked to my bedroom, changed into Emmett´s T- shirt. (the others had found out I normally slept in the same clothes as I´d done the day before, and the boys had threw me some of their old T- shirts to sleep on, of course my protests didn´t make sense) and pulled the covers up to my chin.

I crouched, hugged myself. I thought I´d be awake for a while, but as always, I fell asleep as soon as I´d closed my eyes.

**So, I know this chap´s boring, but it needed to be done. And as well, I´m gonna like, "jump over" parts of times, that´s because until a matter of time, the story´s pretty much the same… the Cullen´s trying to gain trust, not succeeding, and Jamie pushing them away even more.  
I don´t think I´ll have the time to write too much next week, because there´s a lot to do in school, but next Wednesday, my holidays starts, and then I´ve got ten weeks without school**


	21. Headache and a tree

**Hey… you know what? No, ´course not… but I feel like bragging so… I got an A in in English class, I got an A in English class, I got an A in English class… okay I´m sorry to brag, but I really did get an A in English class. **

In the ending of the term, I usually always had loads of unfinished homework and stuff, and this year wasn´t different. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, I sat from when I got home until dinner, took an hour off to eat, and go for a walk. When I came back, I sat at least to midnight, but usually to three or four when I was so tired I couldn´t even concentrate enough to read. But it paid off, at Friday, the last day before Christmas holidays, I could hand in everything.

Friday, December the 22:d, I sat in the school corridor on one of the benches, gosh it would feel good to get some real sleep tonight. I had slept at the most four or four hours a night the last week. And it was a miracle I could even keep my eyes open now. But I guessed I´d had to stay awake ´til tonight at least.

I leaned back in the bench, waiting for the other´s day to quit. When I suddenly felt like I´d have to do something, I brought a paper from my locker and quickly wrote the message. "Don´t wait for me, taking the bus to my house to check the post. Be at yours´ soon." And then I walked to the bus- stop. I had to run to catch the right bus, before I stepped onto it, and sat down on a seat next to the window. Five minutes later I got off the bus by the right stop, and walked towards my house.

I got all the letters from the letter box and put them in my rucksack, but I didn´t bother to go into the house, was impossible anyways, I had no key. And then I walked towards the Cullen- house. When I came there, I realized that the others weren´t back from school yet. I shrugged to myself. Guessed they were out doing something. I opened the door, it was opened, I knew that both Esme and Carlisle were home. Carlisle had worked nightshift, and had probably gotten home during the morning.

"Hey." I said when I got inside, and to the kitchen. As I´d predicted, Carlisle and Esme were both there. I sat down on one of the high chairs by the bench. I got up all the letters from my rucksack, and started sorting them.

"Bin, bin, bin… bill." I said. "bin, bill, bill." How I would get the money to pay for the depts., I didn´t know yet, but I was sure I´d figure something out.

"Bin, bin.. and after all, there´s nothing interesting." I took all the bin- mails, and threw them in the bin.

"Something you´d hope to find?" Carlisle asked. I shrugged.

"I don´t know." There was really no point with telling him, that I´d hoped that maybe, just maybe one of my parents had sent me something. I sighed, took the bills, and walked down to my room and threw them at my desk. I sat down on my bed, and stroke my forehead. I felt tha while, I´d have a throbbing headache, I guessed from all the stress with the essays that needed to be finished, and so little sleep.

I started thinking about my life before I went to live with the Cullens. All that stress, and all those sleepless nights, why did I get a headache for that now, when it was even worse earlier, and then I didn´t get a headache.

Maybe, after about two weeks at the Cullens, I had gotten used to sleep at nights, it was just a theory, or maybe I was starting to relax finally after the whole long term I had behind me. I wanted to go ask Carlisle about an Aspirin, but before I had the time, I fell asleep.

"Jamie… dear." The next thing I knew, I felt two cold hands gently touching my face, and I heard Esme´s voice trying to wake me up.

"Mhm." I groaned, immediately, I felt that the headache had gotten at least forty times worse since when I fell asleep.

"Dinner´s ready." Gosh, I really wasn´t hungry, but I understood that Esme and Carlisle would get really worried about me if I didn´t so I sat up.

"Mhm, I´m coming." I stood up, and stretched my arms and legs. Before I walked out of the room, and up to the kitchen, where I sat down by the table, there already was a plate with food on the table, I grabbed the fork, and took a bite. Okay, now I felt worse than ever how not- hungry I was. I started pushing the food back and forth on the plate, to make it look like I was eating. Though, I really understood that I couldn´t trick either Esme or Carlisle. I sat with my head bent down, I didn´t see them, but I could feel their distressed glares… or more, I knew I had them there. At last I put the fork down, I pressed the plate away from me and spoke up.

"I´m not hungry!" I said. Carlisle looked distressed.

"You´re all right sweetie?" Esme asked. I didn't answer, and put my head in my hands.

"Headache huh?" Carlisle spoke up, and came over to me. I nodded slightly, I felt him putting his freezing cold hand on my forehead, I pulled my head away from him.

"Chill out Carlisle, it´s a migraine… I´m not ill…. I just wanna sleep." I stood up, and stumbled downstairs and to my room. I didn´t even bother changing my clothes, though a few seconds later I felt Esme starting to help me do just that.

"What are you doing? Leave me alone."

"You can´t sleep in jeans and jumper, you´ll get too warm." I groaned, and sat up, I was too tired to fight back. And as soon as Esme had helped me take off everything but T- shirts and underwear, she laid the covers upon me while I laid back. But of course, just a few seconds later, Carlisle came in to examine me. I felt him putting a thermometer in my ear, and when it beeped, I hollered in pain.

"Sorry about that… hmm… at least you have no fever…"

"Carlisle… it´s a migraine, do me a favor, and turn off the freaking light and leave." I half fizzled half shouted.

"You feel sick at all?" I sighed at his question.

"A bit."

"I´ll get a bucket just in case."

"Mhm," I groaned, turned around in the bed, and before Carlisle was out the room, I was asleep.

I didn´t wake up again until in the forenoon the next day, I heard chattering from the living… hrm… family room, seemed like the others had gotten home during the time I was asleep. I sat up in my bed, and threw my legs over the edge. The headache was gone. When I placed my feet on the floor, I noticed that someone, probably Carlisle, had placed a bucket next to my bed, in case I would get sick. I smiled slightly, even though I was trying my hardest to not let them close, I kind of appreciated it sometimes, even though I´d never tell the others that.

I stood up, opened my wardrobe, pulled on a pair of Jeans, and a hoodie. Before I grabbed the bucket and walked out of my room. All of the others were sitting in the family room, they were chattering, but stopped talking when I came walking.

"Thought I´d give you your bucket back." I joked. Carlisle chuckled and took it from me.

"Do you feel better now?" Esme asked. I nodded.

"Yes… loads better thank you." She smiled at me. I continued, "I´m just gonna… do some breakfast." I walked upstairs and to the kitchen, got a sandwich and a glass of milk, after I walked downstairs, and sat down with the others. While eating, as always, Emmett had to comment that I was doing just that… eating.

"Seriously Jame, how can you eat that?"

"It´s good." I answered him.

"Smells like ´piece of shit to me."

"Please, you two, stop discussing that, before you get into a wild discussion again. " Carlisle said. "By the way Jamie, how do you feel now?"

"´bit tired… guess that´s only normal after sleeping for… how long was I sleeping."

"Eighteen and a half hours." Esme answered me. I nodded.

The rest of the day went by without any bigger events, none of us really did much. At noon, Carlisle left for the hospital, for a last shift before the free days he had taken out for Christmas and new year.

The next day, at Christmas eve, I woke up by Emmett standing in my room, with the words.

"Come on Jamie, open your eyes, we haven´t got all day, wake up." I just groaned.

"Jingle bells," he began singing. "Sleeping smells, get your ass out of bed." Before I had the time to react, he had grabbed the head of my bed, and tipped it so I fell to the floor with a bang.

"EMMETT." I shouted. But he just shrugged. I wanted to get revenge and the only thing I could think of doing was soaking him with the bottle of water that stood on my bedside table. I grabbed it, opened it and threw it all at him.

"Oh, JAMIE." He shouted.

"You started it." I fought back, when suddenly Carlisle was standing in the door.

"What´s going on in here?" He looked to my bed, who was turned on its side, to Emmett, soaked of course, to me.

"She soaked me pops!" Emmett pointed to me.

"He made me fall out of bed." Carlisle shook his head, then he looked to me.

"Jamie, we´re going to find a Christmas tree, go change, and dress warm, Emmett, you started it so turn the bed right and get that water from the floor."

"But…"

"Now." Carlisle sounded strict, as I got a pair of sweat pants, T-shirt and a hoodie from the wardrobe along with underwear, before I walked to the bathroom to have a human moment.

Later that day, Emmett and Jasper carried the big Christmas tree we had found downstairs to the family room, they put it in a corner of the room, as Alice and Rosalie came after them with boxes and bags with stuff to put in the tree, they placed it all on the floor next to the tree.

During chattering and laughing we dressed the Christmas tree, and a bit more, All the girls- including me, had glitter around our waists, and Emmett and Carlisle had it around their heads, trying to convince Jasper and Edward to do the same as them. I half ran to my room, and got the presents I had bought, I placed them under the tree.

As I´d put them there, I couldn´t stop worrying about if the others would like their presents or not, and when Carlisle sneaked into my room to get who knows what, I was already sleeping tightly.

**That is it for today, I know what Carlisle got from Jamie´s room. Anyways, in this chap, Jamie claims she has a migraine… which she has… and, you see, I don´t get migraines myself, and I´m glad for that… but since I doesn´t know too much about them, I´ve written what I thought it´s like. Because if I ask my dad, he´ll keep going on forever about how dramatic my stories is**

**And... that part about J soaking Emmett, it wasn´t my idea from the start. Thanks to ActressCece, and to you, I hope that it´s still ok that I lend your idea. **


	22. Christmas

When I woke up on Christmas morning, I heard chattering from the family room. I laid still in bed for a couple of minutes, with my eyes closed and listened to it. Before I sat up, and without changing clothes I walked out to the family room.

"Merry Christmas everyone." I said when I came out.

"Merry Christmas Jamie." Came from everyone.

"Jamie." Alice began. "I bought a Christmas outfit for you! I´ll go get it." I nodded. In the blink of an eye, Alice had gotten it, and reached it to me, I nodded, and without looking through the clothes, I walked to the bathroom and started changing clothes.

The clothes Alice had given me was a pair of warm black pantihose, I fired checkered skirt in red, black and golden, a black linen and a red knitted cardigan, When I had changed my clothes, I walked back to my room with the PJ:s, and then walked back to the family room, where there were greetings about how much they thought I looked nice in these clothes.

"…Are we going somewhere?" I looked around, everyone seemed to be wearing coats, scarves and shoes. Carlisle nodded.

"Church. And we actually thought it would be nice if you´d like to join us." I nodded.

"Sure, why not?" I walked to grab my coat and shoes, and then walked upstairs with the others, as I, Carlisle and Esme got in Carlisle´s car. Until this moment, I had gotten quite used to the vampire´s driving, so the speed didn´t really bother me anymore, and just a couple of minutes later, we arrived outside the church. When Jasper and Emmett got out, they were joking and laughing about something, as usual. But they put themselves together before we all walked into the huge church.

"Could you just wait here for a second?" I asked Esme and Carlisle when we got out again. They nodded, and I walked through the rows of gravestones next to the church. The stone I reached was nothing special, I hated it, the stone I mean, because it was ugly, and I´m sure that Jordan would have been a great person if he had lived.

"Merry Christmas Jordan," I pressed my fingers to my lips, and then to the stone, and did the cross- sign over my chest. Suddenly there was someone reaching me a rose from backwards, I looked up and saw Carlisle and Esme standing there, Carlisle had his arm around Esme´s shoulder and Esme was reaching me a red rose, I smiled slightly and took the rose carefully, and laid it down in front of the gravestone. Before standing up, I brushed off the knee I had sat on, and walked back to the car behind Carlisle and Esme.

When we came home, all the others were out in the garden, Jacob had also arrived, to spend his Christmas with Nessie, even though I didn´t have any gloves on, not that I didn´t have any gloves at all. But I bent down, and made a snowball that I threw at Emmett. He turned around and threw one back at me.

At last, there were two teams, on one there was me, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Alice, and on the other Nessie, Jacob, Bella, Edward and Jasper. I had lent gloves from Carlisle, but I soon realized that they were so big, they made it hard to make snowballs, so I took them off and threw them inside.

After a while, when I threw a snowball that was meant for Nessie, it hit Emmett inside. He pretended to get angry and lifted me over one shoulder before he threw me in a pile of snow, and soon I laid there, like a turtle on my back, with arms and legs up in the air, covered in snow. Esme helped me up. I tried to brush off the worst, which didn´t succeed very well, and Carlisle decided that the fight was over.

"Go change those clothes." Carlisle told me when we came in. "We don´t want you to catch a cold do we?"

"No, guess not." I said, and hung my jacket in the hallway, and walked back to my room, where I changed into my usual sweatpants and hoodie. When I came back into the family room, Carlisle sat in front of the fireplace trying to light a fire. I sat down next to him, held out my hands towards the fire. I sighed and crouched, I thought back on the Christmas I had known that I would have a brother. The last real Christmas I had celebrated.

**Flashback**

We sat around the Christmas tree, I, mum and dad. I had loads of presents, and I decided to unwrap a big one first.

"My very own guitar, thanks mum, thanks dad."

"Now open this." Dad reached me an envelope, damn, he always gave me cards so I had to read, I wasn´t very good at reading, and as usual, when I read the card, there was a pause between every word.

"Dear Jamie," I read out loud. "We are now happy to be able to tell you, that in this summer, you´re gonna have a…. I´M GONNA HAVE A BROTHER?" I shouted the last sentence. I held the card to my chest and jumped and danced around the living room.

"I´m gonna have a brother." I sang. "I´m gonna have a brother, I´m gonna have a brother." Dad stood up.

"Come on J.J." he held me and we started dancing around the room together. '

J.J. That was what he always had used to call me.

**End of flashback**

"Jamie…. Come on Jame, earth to Jamie Dylan." Emmett´s voice woke me up from my memories.

"What are you thinking about?" Esme asked. "You seemed to be so far away."

"Nothing." I laid down my chin on my knees, and hugged my legs.

The day passed by without any bigger events, as usual, when I ate my Christmas dinner, Emmett complained about the smell.

I was nervous about opening presents, I was afraid that the others wouldn´t like the presents I had gotten for them.

At about seven in the evening, we all gathered around tree in the family room, Carlisle was the one handing out all the presents, he squatted down next to the tree and started handing out.

"From Jamie to Emmett." Was the first one, Emmett took it, next one was from Esme to me, and I got it, when all the presents were handed out, it was time to start opening presents, I opened the one from Carlisle at first.

"Oh god." I said, I unwrapped a laptop. "Thanks Carlisle, thanks a lot."

"You´re welcome."

"Oh Jamie." Came from Esme. "Did you write this?" she had recently unwrapped her present from me.

"No, I just found it on the internet, I was trying to find a shorter one… but I kind of liked that poem."

"Can you read it out loud ma´" Emmett asked, Esme nodded, and started reading.

_People say that sometimes  
we need to stop for a moment  
to just stand still  
and look around  
See what we lived through  
What we have right now  
and maybe  
if we look closely  
we can maybe see  
just a small glimpse  
of what´s going to come _

_Though I just keep on running  
running as fast as I can  
hoping to find am end  
of this long tunnel_

_I don´t wanna look back  
because everything is black behind me  
Don´t wanna look back  
because then  
I´ll have to go through it all again  
all the memories  
and the memories are too painful _

_I don´t wanna look where I am right now  
because I don´t wanna face the fact  
that I´m here all alone_

_I don´t wanna see ahead of me  
because if I see the endless darkness  
I know I´ll lose all of my hope_

_But now  
things are starting to change  
and I can finally spot an end  
of this tunnel_

_But hold on a second!  
There´s someone standing in the tunnel now  
She takes my hand  
"Come with me my child" she says  
"We´re gonna take a walk, you and I" _

_As she takes me back  
to the most painful memories  
I can at first not understand why_

_Then I understand  
that she helps me through them  
and carries me when I can´t walk on my own  
So I can leave those memories behind  
So I can stop running  
and look around  
and head forward_

_The woman holds my hand  
and helps me through  
what´s happened  
and what´s to come_

_She´s an angel  
and she looks like you_

Esme looked up, and Emmett was the first one to speak up.

"Really beautiful… please can we continue with the presents now."

"Hold on a second Emmett." Carlisle said. "We should give everyone a chance to say what they thought about that."

"It was beautiful." Came from about four different directions, I nodded.

"It really was." Carlisle stroke his chin, as if he thought about something. I nodded again, and then (finally) we got back to opening presents. Except the laptop I got a cell- phone from Emmett, glee on DVD from Bella and Nessie, the movies "the ice princess." "blades of glory" "the cutting edge" and all the "step up- movies" from Edward and Jasper, a warm winter- coat and shoes from Esme.

"Jamie." Alice began after a while, I looked up, was on my way to pull a loaded bus- card from Carlisle out of an envelope.

"Mhm." I answered her.

"I and Rosalie can´t give you your present, but we can tell you about it." I nodded, and put the bus- card in my purse.

"So, well, we would like to take you shopping someday, for clothes you need." I nodded. Alice continued. "We´re gonna do it at least once now, and at least once in the spring to shop for summer- clothes." I nodded again.

"Thanks, I´d love that."

When all the presents were unwrapped, the others went outside to have another snowball- fight. It was too dark for me to see, so I sat down in front of the fireplace, and crouched with a cup of hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows.

"So…" I heard behind me, I turned my head to see Carlisle standing in the doorframe. "Had a good Christmas?"

"Best Christmas ever," I said in a low voice. Carlisle came over to the fireplace and sat down next to me. "But I think I´m gonna have a hard time getting angry at ya´ll after this." Carlisle chuckled.

"Jamie, I can tell you one thing. If you´d ever get mad, you can scream at us, throw things or push us how much you´d like. It´s actually better that you do it to us, than if you do it to anyone else, because us you can´t hurt." I nodded, and crouched a little more and put the now empty cup on the floor next to me.

"Carlisle."

"Yes."

"Even though it may not always seem like it… I really appreciate what you´re doing." Carlisle smiled.

"I know."

"Just… please don´t tell the others that… you know why." Carlisle nodded. "I mean, could you imagine Emmett if he knew I was happy about what he did."

"Yeah I know." Carlisle said, you just wait here, I´ll go get something. He disappeared, and in the blink of an eye, he was back again with a big, wrapped parcel that he reached to me.

"Did you really think that we´d ignore your wish about skates when you wrote it eleven times on that list." I chuckled.

"First I didn´t think so, but tonight until now I actually thought you would. I lifted the lock of the carton, and revealed another big box, I opened it and found a pair of skates, the most beautiful skates I had ever seen. They were white, but with a silver, wide stripe on the sides, where a white pattern with flowers were embodied. I smiled.

"Thank you… oh thank you so much." Carlisle smiled.

"You´re very welcome my child."

**So, that poem, it´s nothing I just found on the internet, I wrote it myself... please tell me what you think of it **


	23. Skating with the devil

**I just wanted to say, that if I like, insulted somebody, with making the Cullens and Jamie go to church, or making them do anything else that´s got to do with the Christian way to do, I´m very sorry. I have nothing against any other religion, not at all, one of my best friends is a Muslim. And the head reason why I´m making my character´s Christian, is because I´m a Christian, after the protestant faith… I think that´s what it´s called in English. So, I don´t wanna make my characters something else, because then I´d probably get something wrong, and mess something up, and that way end up insulting somebody.  
And at last, I´m not a dancer like Jamie, even less a figure- skater, so if I get things wrong. I´m sorry. **

My child, he had called me his child, Carlisle had used the words "you´re very welcome, my child." I wasn´t his child, he knew it, I knew it, it was clear. We didn´t share a piece of DNA, we didn´t even share hair color, eye color, length or anything else. I wasn´t his child, yet, he had chosen to call me his child, and I chose not to say anything, because it felt good.

It made me feel special!

I sat in the window seal on the ground floor, feet resting against one side of it, back leaned against the other, my knees pulled up in front of me. It was dark outside, I looked out the window, I was thinking, just thinking. As every year, I was gonna spend the last hour in a window seal, that was what I did every Christmas day, and every new year´s eve. I sighed, and looked at the watch, twenty two minutes to go. I looked at the window again.

"Merry Christmas mum," I suddenly said. "Merry Christmas dad." My words were just slightly more than a whisper, as I leaned back towards the window seal.

This had been my tradition since the year we moved to Maine, when I was little, I used to say merry Christmas to the friends I´d left behind in Scotland. When I got older, I wished merry Christmas to whoever I was missing right at the time. I hadn´t fallen asleep once doing that, and I wasn´t gonna do that this year either.

But I was yawning more and more often, and I was having quite a hard time keeping my eyes open.

I looked up as I heard someone come walking. It was Esme.

"Aren´t you gonna go to bed, it´s almost midnight"

"No… not quite yet." I answered her. She nodded, and walked into the kitchen, I heard her fixing with something, as it got harder and harder to keep my eyes open.

I wasn´t gonna fall asleep… I wasn´t gonna fa…. Wasn´t gonna.

**Esme pov**

It was a few minutes before midnight, when I heard that Jamie´s heart rate and breathing slowed down. I stopped what I was doing, and walked out to where she sat, she sat in the window seal, she was leaning heavily against the window, sleeping. I walked over to her, got one arm under her back, and the other one under her knees, and lifted her up, and then I carried her downstairs. I put her in her bed, pulled off her hoodie and sweat pants and then pulled the covers over her. After I walked out of the room, I stroke away her bangs and gave Jamie a slight kiss on her forehead. Jamie groaned and rolled around to her side, without waking up. It was almost like, even in her sleep, she pushed away all kind of tenderness.

"We wanna help you." I whispered, too fast for human ears to catch, and too low for the others to hear. "I just wish you´d let us." Just as I´d said it, I heard the clock ring, and Christmas was over for this year. I turned around, and walked upstairs to finish what I was doing. When I came up, Jasper sat in the same window as Jamie had sat in not long ago, he had the book he had gotten from Jamie. Deeply concentrated, I finished cleaning the kitchen bench, and walked downstairs again. Edward sat in the corner of the sofa, snuggling with Bella, Emmett was playing one of the video- games he had gotten from Jasper. Rosalie and Alice sat in the sofa, talking with each other, Nessie had gone off to Jacob´s. Carlisle was in his office, and with that knowledge I walked upstairs and towards the office.

**Jamie pov, December the 27:th. **

I hung my new skates over my shoulder, put an inhaler, my cellphone and earplugs in my jeans- pocket, and walked out to the family room.

"Jamie." Alice said when I came out in the living room. "I was hoping you and I and Rosalie could go shopping for you now."

"Ehrm…" I began. "I was… actually going to the skating hall."

"But we´re leaving in the afternoon." (Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and Bella and Edward were going to different parts of the world for two weeks) I sighed.

"Okay."

"Yes... you can bring your skates and leave them in the car. We´ll give you a ride to the skating rink when we´re done." I nodded and walked upstairs after Rosalie and Alice, who were arguing about which car to drive in, at last, Alice won the discussion, and we got in her yellow sports´ car.

The rest of the forenoon, and the first part of the afternoon, I spent with Alice and Rosalie at the Bangor mall. I thought it was quite fun for a start, then I realized what Alice was like when shopping, and it was hard actually getting her permission to clothes that actually was… me. And they also completely forgot that I´m human, in other words, when we finally got in the car again, with loads and loads of bags, I was both tired, and really hungry. But I didn´t complain! They parked outside the skating hall, and finally I was gonna get to try out my new skates.

I sat down on one of the benches, pulled off the shoes and coat Esme had given me for Christmas, and pulled on the skates. There were lockers by the side of the ice, and I put the shoes and coat in one of them and put the key in my pocket. I searched through the song- list on the phone, and found the song I used a lot when I was skating. Total eclipse of the heart.

I warmed up, and started practicing my skills. There was one thing I had practiced for a long time now, but never been able to make for some reason, the triple axel. Jump, jump high, and spin three laps, in the air, then land, and land perfectly, no falling. Almost three and a half laps actually sometimes, and everything needs to be pitch perfect.

It wasn´t long before I started to feel the disadvantages of having new skates, as I felt blisters starting to form on my feet. But I didn´t care about it. It felt too awesome to skate with new skates for me to even feel the pain, and I didn´t care about anything in the world around me until I heard the voice of Kiana Thomas just behind me. I span around so fast I fell, right on my butt. Kiana stood leaning over the rib with her elbows, her gang, consisting her nest friends Cynthia Rose, Kitty Hudson and Willow Bruce. Including Kiana´s boyfriend Liam Potter, and Kitty´s boyfriend Noah Jaden. This gang, and a few others at school, were the most popular, Kiana was the star of the figure- skating- team. Cynthia was also a part of the figure- skating- team. Kitty and Willow were both cheerleaders, and Liam and Noah were football- players.

"Heard you´re living at the Cullen´s." Kiana said, and slid out of the ice, the others came after her, and created a circle around me. Kiana continued.

"Must be rough being away from your parents." I bit my jaws together as hard as I could. Felt the blood stream in my ears. "Oh, sorry, I forgot. Your parents doesn´t care about you." I bit even harder. "Now get lost, we need space to train, space without the Dylan- smell." I nodded and tried to get up. Noah- who had been standing a few meters away, came over and reached out his hand.

"Here, I´ll help you." Stupid as I was, I trusted him, and as I was halfway up, he let go off my hand, and I fell, right at my coccyx of course- ouch. The others screamed of laughter as I stood up myself, and skated out of the rink. I was angry, sad, embarrassed and in pain. The blisters on my feet hurt, and I guessed that I had gotten at least three big bruises on my butt and lower back. I went to change to my shoes and take my coat, and then, as I realized it was ninety minutes until the next bus left, and started walking home.

**Carlisle pov **

I was in the sofa in the family room with my love, snuggling (of course.) when a smell reached my nose, and I heard the door upstairs open and close.

"Why can I smell fresh blood?" I saw Esme stop breathing, and then got up. There were slight moans (Jamie´s voice) upstairs, and I could hear on the sound of her footsteps that she was limping. I got up, and a split second later I was upstairs by Jamie´s side.

"Why can I smell blood? Are you hurt?" Jamie stopped to hang her coat and put her shoes in the hallway.

**Jamie pov **

When I finally reached the Cullen mansion- or home more likely, for now at least. My feet felt like they were burning, and like there were needles in my shoes, I had barely gotten inside the door, when Carlisle was by my side.

"Why can I smell blood? Are you hurt?" He asked with a worried tone in his voice. I stopped to take off my shoes and coat. Taking off the coat went fine, but when I pulled off my shoes, I bit my lip not to curse or scream. Which would make Carlisle even more worried about me. I couldn´t help but gasp when I had gotten the first shoe off, blood had soaked through every piece of my sock, and it was clearly still bleeding profusely.

"Let´s say it this way." I joked. "Mix off new skates, blisters, popular idiots, and the Christmas holidays- bus- schedule, no good mix." I started pulling off the other shoe, and discovered the other foot was at least as bad as the first one. Carlisle bent down to take a look at them, but at the first touch, I pulled away from him, as pain flashed through my feet.

"Come on." He laid his hand on my back. "We´ll go to my office, I´ll clean and bandage those wounds for you."

**Ouch, ouch, ouch, everyone´s that´s ever had blisters know that it´s so much worse than it looks. Can only imagine the pain Jamie suffers right now.**

**And also, about the story. There´s two things. I am currently trying to fill up some time, because before Jamie´s birthday, January the 15:th, there is not gonna be much happening. Something will happen on her birthday, and it will mean a lot to further storylines. Second, I know I´m a bit too often trying to get Carlisle, Esme and Jamie having the house to themselves, and that´s because Esme and Carlisle are my favorites, and also, they are the "parents" and they need to bond a bit more with J. **


	24. Blisters, new year and an assignment

I sat down on the hospital- bench in Carlisle´s office, just as my stomach cooped loudly. Carlisle smiled, as he got the things he needed from the lockers in the room.

"Let me guess…" he began. "Alice and Rose forgot you´re human, and forgot to take a break for you to eat earlier."

"Something like that." I lifted up my feet, Esme said something to Esme, too fast for me to hear what he was saying. I started pulling off my socks, it hurt, I bit my lip not to groan. At last, I realized that I had wounds on both of my heals. It didn´t look too bad now when I had gotten of the socks. Carlisle took them and threw them in a bowl at his desk.

"So, Jamie…. Your birthday is soon isn´t it?"

"January the fifteenth." I said. "But I don´t want anybody to make a big deal of it!"

"Yeah, good luck with that with Alice in the house." Carlisle chuckled. "Anything special you wish for?"

"Is there anything that could prevent me from getting blisters while I´m skating?"

"Actually, I think there is special kind of socks that could I think. Is there anything else?"

"Seriously Carlisle, you gave me all I wanted for Christmas. The only thing I could wish for is… OW." I couldn´t help myself from groan when Carlisle started cleaning the blisters.

"Sorry… is what?"

"Okay, this is gonna sound weird, but… I want a gravestone." Carlisle looked at me, kind of with the reaction I thought I´d get. "Said so. Not for myself, I´m not gonna kill myself or something, but Jordan´s gravestone is the ugliest thing, I have ever seen." Carlisle nodded, and put plasters over the cleaned blisters. Then he took my socks, and the things he had used to clean the blisters and laid it all in a bowl, before setting it on fire. I didn´t move, I stared into the flames until it had burned out. Then I walked out of Carlisle´s office, Esme was making food for me, it wasn´t ready yet so I walked downstairs and to my room for waiting. In my room Alice and Rosalie had left all the bags with clothes we had gotten today. I started with pulling up a pair of new socks from one of the bags, and put them on.

I started with pulling off all the price tags off all the clothes, then I just threw them on the bed, and folded the bags, one after one. When all the bags laid on my desk and all the clothes, with all the price tags in the bin under it, and all the clothes unfolded on my bed. I folded everything and laid it in the wardrobe. Just as I was done, Esme called for dinner, and I walked back upstairs.

**New year´s eve, almost midnight **

I was back in the window seal outside the kitchen. Esme and Carlisle was outside, and at last, five minutes before midnight, I decided to get down from the window seal and outside. Carlisle was fixing with a big box of fireworks that somehow would show off all at the same time. Esme showed me to stand back, next to her, as the minutes passed by.

_Four minutes_

I pulled my coat closer around me

_Three minutes _

Oh great, the cold gave me a panic attack

_Two minutes_

I jumped up and down, trying to get some warmth in my muscles

_One minute_

The last minute of 2017

_Midnight_

Ding dong. We heard far away from the church in Bangor, then Carlisle light up all the fireworks in the box.

I had never been a great fan of firework, I held my fingers in my ears as I watched all the colors in the night black sky. I´d have to admit, it was beautiful, I just didn´t like the sound. And less than a minute later, it was over. Even though we still heard the fireworks from the rest of Bangor.

"I´m going in now." I said, and without waiting for answers, I turned around and opened the door. I walked to my room, changed my jeans and shirt to sweat pants and a hoodie, then I walked over to the family room where there was a fire in the fireplace. I pulled a blanket around me and sat down In front of it, I was still freezing, and I was trying to regain some warmth in my body. Trying to stop the shivering.

I heard the others came downstairs behind me, they said something, again too fast for me to hear what, Carlisle came to sit down next to me.

"I would love to do something to make you feel warmer. Hold you, but I´m afraid I´d only make it worse. Esme´s upstairs making hot chocolate." I nodded, and crouched even more. When Esme came down with the hot chocolate, I laid the blanket next to me, and took small sips from the cup. It was good to feel the warmth spreading, all the way out to my fingertips.

January the eight, school started again, my first lesson was English with Mr. Trey.

"So, students, I hope you´ve had good holidays, but now it´s time to start again. During this term, I´m giving you a essay to write during these months. And that one is to write each poem."

"WHAT?" Came from Cody Gardner. (a football player, the most boyish boy in school) "Trey, I´m a guy, guy´s don´t write poems." There was assent mumbles and nods from the rest of the classroom.

"Mr. Trey, is there any chance you´ve seen ten things I hate about you during the holidays." Jada Carlyle **(A/N yes, I´m very aware of which name I gave her. It´ll suit a storyline) **

"Mr. Trey if you please. And yes, my twelve year old forced me to watch it with her. And as well, to you Mr. Gardner, I actually think that some of the time´s most successful poets are or were males. Now, to what I was gonna say, whatever you wanna write your poem about, is up to you. It won´t have to rhyme, and I won´t give you any lessons to write it. The dead- line for it is midnight between Sunday, June the third, and Monday June the fourth. Everybody will hand in their poem, but keep a copy yourself, because you´re reading it out loud in class." The protests were wild, I was nervous already now. I had never written anything, or nothing good at least.

"So…" Mr. Trey began. "Over to the next assignment."

When Carlisle came home from work that day, I was laying on my stomach in the sofa watching one of the glee- DVD:s I had gotten for Christmas. I didn´t react until he threw me something. At a closer look, I saw that they looked like socks. Only they had only half feet, when I looked at the tag I realized it was the kind of "socks" people used to prevent blisters while skating. I raised myself on my elbows and looked at Carlisle.

"My birthday isn´t until next week!" I said.

"I know, but I realize you´re getting crazy about not being able to skate because of those blisters, so I thought I´d bring you those now."

"Yeah, yeah you´re right. Thanks." I laid down flat on my stomach again and kept on watching glee."

"You´re gonna try them out?" Carlisle asked, I raised on my elbows again, and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah of course, not now." As on a given signal I yawned big. "I´m a bit tired." Carlisle looked worried. "I´m fine, just tired. First day at school after holidays you know."

"Well… I´ll be at my office, come there if you feel worse all right?" I nodded, and then kept on watching glee. And as I was singing along, I noticed that my voice sounded a bit more hoarse than usual. But as I cleared my throat, it was gone again, and I didn´t think more about it.

**HEEEEEELP. I need more tips on what the Cullens will give Jamie for her birthday, I´ve decided some! But any suggestion is still welcome, write it in a review, or a PM and send it pleeeeease. **


	25. Problematic birthday

On Tuesday, I had gotten a slight cold, just like this cold, that makes people sneeze and cough and such stuff, but seems like it doesn´t really can break out for real. I didn´t care much about it, and after an examine by Carlisle (he wanted to do it, not me) they had to accept that I wasn´t ill, and could go to school. (It was not like I wanted to go to school. I just didn´t want to miss it, because I knew that if I did, I would be behind schedule again)

The others were back, Alice and Jasper from Sweden (who the hell goes to Sweden in January?) Emmett and Rosalie from New York (not very far away I guess, but they sure had had quite a great time), Bella and Edward from Brazil and some place called Isle Esme, and Nessie from Jacob´s.

And guess what they all had on their minds at this time? Yes, my birthday! They seemed to have decided to make a big deal of it, just because they knew how much I hated it. On Wednesday, when I came home, Esme was in the kitchen when I walked in there. I was keeping my hands on the bottom of my backpack that hang on my back of course, for a joke.

"Hey Esme! I know what I want for my birthday now!"

"You do?" Carlisle came walking into the kitchen. "What?" I let go off the bottom of my backpack, the material in it let go off the other, and all my papers, pencils, and erasers fell to the floor.

"How ´bout a backpack." I joked. Carlisle chuckled, while we both kneeled down to pick up the papers and stuff from the floor.

"Why do you keep so many papers in your backpack?"

"Because I always forget to leave the papers I´ve written on in my locker!"

"Why don´t you just get a notebook and a pencil case? Then you´d have it all gathered in one place!" Esme said.

"Well… I don´t get that from school, and it´s not exactly for free in the store." I saw Carlisle nod, then he spoke up again.

"And yes, Jamie… you said you wished for a gravestone for Jordan."

"Yes, that I did."

"So… what do you want it to look like?"

"I don´t know." I jumped up on the kitchen bench and sat on it. "It doesn´t have to be anything special actually, just… a stone with Jordan´s full name on it, and not just Jordan O. Dylan."

"What´s the O for?"

"Oscar. Anyway, maybe… maybe it could be like a dove on it, spreading out its wings as if it was gonna fly away. And…. And a… there is… a special text I´d like to be on it."

"Which text?"

"When mum was pregnant and when Jordan still breathed, I sang the same song to him all the time… and there is a few lines from it I would like to be on his gravestone." I started to hum. "Where trouble melt like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops, that´s where you´ll find me… is that a stupid text to put on a gravestone?"

"No it is not, I´d say it´s unique, but certainly not stupid." I nodded.

"Yeah I guess." I jumped down from the kitchen bench, took my papers and stuff, and walked downstairs, I walked up again, when I heard a shout from Emmett.

"JAME! PHONECALL FOR YOU!" I rushed upstairs and got the phone from Emmett´s hand.

"Yes?"

"Jamie!" Oh shoot, dad´s voice.

"Yes."

"So… how you´re doing?" Gosh, as if he´d care.

"I´m doing all right I guess… and you?"

"You just wait Jamie, as soon as I get out of here, you´ll be in so much trouble. You haven´t told anyone have you?"

"No I haven´t. But I think they are figuring out for themselves."

"Then lie about, tell them everything was fine, because you know what happens if you tell anyone."

"Yes dad," I said, and looked to the floor.

"Good bye."

"Bye dad." I hung up, and with my head lowered I turned around, Esme was behind me, cleaning the bench.

"Jamie?" I turned around when she called my name, oh shit, vampire- hearing, she´d heard it all.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn´t I be?" I knew I wasn´t fooling anybody, not even myself, but I had to try lying, no one could know… No one could know. I walked downstairs and sat down by the piano.

**Esme pov**

"Yeah, why wouldn´t I be?" Jamie seemed down, not so strange after what her dad had told her. He sure was a cruel man, I just hoped he´d change until the day that it was time for Jamie to return. Jamie turned around and walked down the stairs, I finished cleaning the bench and then walked over to Carlisle´s office, but before I had the time to tell him what happened.

_Four years old with my back to the door  
All I could hear was the family war  
Your selfish hands always expecting more  
Am I your child or just a charity award?_

_You have a hollowed out heart  
But it's heavy in your chest  
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless  
Hopeless, you're hopeless_

_Oh, father, please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father, please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter  
Oh_

_It's been five years since we've spoken last  
And you can't take back  
What we never had  
Oh, I can be manipulated  
Only so many times,  
Before even "I love you"  
Starts to sound like a lie_

_You have a hollowed out heart  
But it's heavy in your chest  
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless  
Hopeless, you're hopeless_

_Oh, father, please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father, please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter_

_Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?  
How could you push me out of your world,  
Lied to your flesh and your blood,  
Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved?  
Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?  
How could you throw me right out of your world?  
So young when the pain had begun  
Now forever afraid of being loved_

_Oh, father, please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father, please, father_

_Oh, father, please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter  
For the love of a daughter_

The last tone rang out. All of us others were now gathered in the family room.

"Jamie, dear…" I took a step towards Jamie, she flew up on her feet.

"I need to be alone for a minute." She pushed her way through the group and up the stairs. Then we heard the door open and close.

"Why haven´t I seen this before?" Emmett asked, more to himself than to anyone else.

"See what?" Rose asked him.

"Don´t you get it? What was the first song she played for us, the first time she was here?"

"Read all about it p. III, Emelie Sandé"

"….You´ve got the words to change a nation but you´re biting your tongue, you spent a lifetime stuck in silence afraid you´d say something wrong… gosh, she could as well, have put I instead of you. What about the second."

"One more time, Chris Medina"

"Well… isn´t it obvious, she said that one was for her mother didn´t she? But she didn´t tell us anything else, GOSH, she´s expressing her feelings with the songs she´s playing. Whether she sees it herself or not, that´s what she does."

"What is you point Emmett?" Jasper asked, all of us others had sat down in the sofa, while Emmett was walking back and forth.

"We tried talking to a person who doesn´t talk about her problems, she sings about them."

"Hold on, are you talking we should…?"

"Oh yeah, anyone´s got an idea for which song?"

**Monday morning, Jamie´s birthday **

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE." All of the Cullen´s shouted when I came out in the kitchen in the morning. I smiled at them all.

"Thanks. Ehrm…" I rubbed my eyes to wake up more. "…thanks a lot… sorry, don´t really know so much about this birthday- stuff." Carlisle chuckled.

"I guess we´ll have to teach you then."

"I guess… I… I think I´ll have to get ready for school." I turned around and walked over to my bedroom to get my stuff, when I came up to the kitchen, my breakfast was already on the table, for today, Esme had made pancakes. On the table

"Seriously guys, I told you not to make a big deal of this." I smiled, and walked over to the table.

"That one´s from Esme." Carlisle said. "You´re getting more presents after school, but we thought that you´d need that one for school."

"Sch Carlisle." Esme hit her husband slightly. "If you go on like that, you´ll tell her what is in it!" I sat down and ate my breakfast, (I could eat about a third of what Esme had put up on the plate for me, but never mind) and then I lifted the present onto my lap and started opening it. I did every move, very slowly, as if it all would disappear if I did it too fast. But at last, I sat there with a brand new backpack on my legs.

"Cool, thanks Esme"

"Open it," Carlisle and Esme said at once. I nodded, did as I was told, and found notebooks, a pencil case, pencils off several kinds and erasers. And twist folders.

"Thanks… a lot… I think I gotta go now." I put my things in the new backpack, and walked over to Emmett´s car, and went to school.

No one at school, except the Cullen´s knew that it was my birthday, which I was happy about, until lunch, of course, Emmett couldn´t stand no one knowing about my birthday.

I was eating my lunch when Emmett stood up, he jumped up on the table.

"Emmett… Emmett what are you doing?" I asked, I had my ideas, he didn´t answer my question, but bent down and lifted me up on the table do, while he did that, I managed to step right in my food, and then kick it down from the table.

"OII EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!" Emmett shouted at the top of his lungs, and the hall went all quiet. "MY FRIEND JAMIE, TURNS FIFTEEN TODAY. SO EVERYBODY NOW HAPPY BIRTHDAY…" the whole hall started singing happy birthday song, and Emmett jumped down from the table. I looked to the floor , mumbled a thanks, but before I had the time to climb down from the table Ms. Green´s shout echoed through the hall.

"MISS DYLAN! GET DOWN FROM THAT TABLE NOW." I nodded and climbed down. Miss Green grabbed my ear and dragged me with her, while Emmett tried to explain.

"Ms. Green…. Please… it wasn´t her fault…"

"Never have I ever…. In my forty years as a teacher….ow, ow," Suddenly, after we had come out in the corridor, that for the moment was empty, Emmett got in front of Ms. Green, a loud growl was heard.

"Let…. Her… go." I had never heard Emmett, or anyone else of the Cullens so angry any time before. Ms. Green let go, and I took a step to the side, rubbing my ear.

"Now, the reason Jamie was on the table was because of me. And if you don´t tell anybody else about that sound, I won´t tell anyone how you dragged her by the ear." Ms. Green looked frightened, and nodded.

"You okay?" Emmett turned to me. I nodded.

"Sure? It looks kind of red and soar." I nodded again.

"I´m sure. Haha, bet it matches my hair then." I pulled all of my dark- red hair onto the side that the ear was read, and pulled it over my ear.

"Better now?" Emmett nodded.

"I´m sorry Jamie. Come on, I´ll buy you some new lunch." We walked together back to the dining hall, and believe me, I had everyone´s eyes on me, and happy- birthday- wishes came from everywhere. When I was in the corridor on my way from maths with miss Green, and when I felt someone knock my shoulder I completely lost it.

"I swear, if I hear another PERSON wish me HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I will RIP SOMEONE´S HEAD OFF." I spun around, and saw who I had been shouting to. It turned out to be the shyest girl I knew, Millie Jackson.

"You forgot this in geography class." She said in a low voice, and I could see tears raising in her eyes, then she reached her arm forward and handed me the pencil case.

"Millie, I´m so…." I began, but before I had the time I- for the second time today heard a teacher shouting my name, Mr. Trey this time, at least that was good, he wasn´t as strict, neither as old- fashioned as Ms. Green.

"MISS DYLAN."

"Mr. Trey…. I can explain…" I began. "Look… I said I was sorry. I am."

"Ms. Jackson, Ms. Dylan, Mr. Landon´s office now." I sighed, walked after Mr. Trey and sent a quick text- message to Emmett and said that I would take the bus home. After just a few seconds I got one "y?" back. And quickly, right before I walked into the principal´s office, I sent back. "Will explain later."

"Miss Dylan." Mr. Landon- the principal looked at me, over his glasses, after that Mr. Trey had told him what happened, or… most likely, his side of the story.

"Yes Mr. Landon."

"So… what do you think we should do with this?" I shrugged. "Miss Dylan, this isn´t the first time you´ve been rude to the other students, you seem to have a way of getting into trouble."

"Yes sir."

"What do you think we should do with you?" I shrugged. "Can you give me the number to your parents, I think I need to talk to them a little."

"No… I…. I can´t give you the numbers to my parents…"

"Then what should we do? If you refuse to…"

"I live with the Cullens." I said quickly, he nodded.

"Is…. Dr. Cullen working today," I shook my head. "Can you give me his number?" I Nodded, searched up Carlisle´s number in my phone and showed it to Mr. Landon, he took a phone from his drawer and dialed Carlisle´s number, ten minutes later, not only Carlisle- but also Esme and Emmett, came through the door, I didn´t even turn around to look at them. I looked to the floor, all the time as, they came in. Only slightly looked up to see where everyone was located. Millie about a meter from me on my left, Esme right next to my right, Carlisle behind us, with one hand on Esme´s shoulder and one hand on mine, Emmett was leaning against the wall. I shook Carlisle´s hand off my shoulder, and looked down to the floor again, not to face the disappointment in Mr. Trey´s, Esme´s and Carlisle´s eyes, the anger (I couldn´t stand him being mad at me) in Emmett´s, and the tears in Millie´s, Mr. Landon seemed quite neutral.

"So… Miss Dylan, apparently, from what I heard earlier today, you were on a table on lunch. With the whole school singing the happy birthday song to you…" I looked to Carlisle and Esme,

"I´ll explain later." I whispered under my breath, but I knew they could hear.

"Yes, that´s right." There was no point with trying to lie, or come with excuses.

"But… Mr. Landon… that…" Emmett began, Carlisle held up his hand to silent him.

"And recently you were caught, shouting some rude things to miss Jackson when she wanted to hand your pencil case back to you."

"Yes sir." I mumbled.

"That´s not okay is it?"

"No sir."

"No," Emmett spoke up again. "No Mr. Landon, do you know what´s not okay? Well, do you? What´s not okay, is that one of the teachers, one of YOUR teachers do this." Emmett pulled away the hair that hung over the ear that miss Green had pulled. I looked to the floor, but still heard Mr. Trey, Mr. Landon, Esme and Millie gasping, then I felt something cold touching my ear, and I understood that Carlisle wanted to check something.

"Jamie," Emmett bent down and said my name in a low voice. "Remember what you said about your hair matching your ear?" I nodded. "Well, if you still want it to match, you might want to dye your hair blue." I pulled my hair forward again. And put my hand over my ear when Carlisle reached his hand forward.

"Come on Mr. Landon," Emmett continued. "You´re a nice guy. And if anyone should be blamed for this it´s me. I lifted her up on that table, I wanted Jamie to have a good birthday…"

"How ironic." I muttered.

"…But Jamie have told me loads of times how she hates her birthday, and I should have listened to her. So… please be easy on her, after all, it is her birthday." Mr. Landon leaned over the desk.

"Allan" (that is Mr. Trey´s first name) "Dr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen, could you all wait outside." The others nodded, and walked out of the room.

"So, miss Dylan…" Mr. Landon began. I nodded. "Outside that door," he pointed. "At eight, you get until then to have an apology, now off you go." I got up on my feet.

"Goodbye Mr. Landon… Millie."

"Oh and Miss Dylan." Mr. Landon said, when I had just gotten the door open. I spun around.

"Happy birthday," he smiled slightly. I nodded thanks, and turned around and walked before Carlisle, Esme and Emmett out to the parking lot.

"Jamie? Jame come on!" Emmett tried, but I didn´t answer him.

"Jamie…" Carlisle began.

"You." I spun around. "you… look! I told you loads of times, I hate my birthday, why couldn´t you just listen?" I turned around again, opened the door to Carlisle´s car, and sat down. I leaned against the door while Carlisle and Esme got in the front seat, and Carlisle started driving, while Emmett drove faster than us towards the Cullen- mansion.

In the short drive to the house, I felt all the anger disappear, it was replaced by a feeling of guilt, and I felt sad, it was true what Emmett said, he was the one causing the whole school to know about my birthday, but I was the one screwing it up, hurting someone, and making a fool out of myself.

I got out the car, into the house, and downstairs where the others were waiting.

"Don´t bother." I told them. "I don´t deserve it!" I turned towards the hallway and walked to my room, where I laid down on my bed, rested my chin in one of my hands, and drawing in a notebook. (I had never been a good artist, I wasn´t good this time either.) while I thought back how I could apologize to Millie in a good way.

**Alice pov**

All the Cullens were gathered around the table in the living room, we were thinking, but no one had yet had any idea on what to do now. We had a cake, but I guessed we´d have to throw it away, we had presents, but I guessed we´d have to return them, we had a plan of how to make Jamie open herself to us, but I guessed we´d have to do that some other day.

"No come on," Emmett spoke up and stood up. "We are Cullens, we never give up. Jasper, drive up you know what on the driveway, momma get the cake, Rose and Bella, get the presents, Alice, Nessie,, get the room ready, Edward, get the CD- player, pops, make sure Jamie doesn´t get out of her room until we´re finished…"

"…and you´re gonna…"

"Make sure everybody does what they´re supposed to of course, now get a move on."

"Wait." Carlisle said. "I´ve got one better idea."

**Jamie pov **

The door to my room opened, Carlisle stepped in.

"Come on," he nodded towards the family room. "Get up."

"For what?" I asked without looking at him.

"Celebration of your birthday!"

"I´ve already told you, I don´t deserve it."

"Sometimes the person who deserves it the least, is the one who needs it the most, now come on." I sighed, then stood up and walked after Carlisle. We walked upstairs and he asked me to grab me my jacket and come out to his car.

"What for?" I asked a bit confused. He didn´t answer me, but said he´d show me. I got in the seat next to him in his car, and he started driving. He claimed that he´d show me, and when we came home again, the others would have made everything ready for the celebration.

Carlisle stopped outside the church and we got out of the car. He pointed towards the graveyard, and told me to look at Jordan´s grave.

Already before I reached it, I saw that they had changed it, it was a black stone, not very big, with golden, thin text

_Jordan Oscar Dylan  
2014/5/15  
Where trouble melt like lemon drops  
High above the chimney tops  
That´s where you´ll find me _

On top of the stone, there was a white dove, on its way to spread out its wings, as to fly away, it was so small it could have fit in my hand. I turned around ran towards Carlisle the fastest I could,

**Carlisle pov**

Jamie came running back to me, took a jump, I catched her with my hands slightly, so she wouldn´t get hurt when hitting me. But it was too fast for her to even notice.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, it´s perfect." Wow, I never thought she would be this grateful over the gravestone. I put her down on the ground again, and started walking towards the car.

"We´d better get home." We got in the car and I started driving towards our home, where the others had put everything up.

**Jamie pov**

When we got up on the driveway, I saw all the others standing there, Emmett had his hands on a motorbike, that looked like it had definitely seen its best days. I got out of the car.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY." They all shouted when I came walking

"I´m sorry for what I did!" Emmett said. "But, we decided to throw the party anyway, we already have all the presents and stuff, so cancelling it didn´t seem like a very good idea. Anyways, this, is the present from me." He reached me the steering part of the motorbike, I took it.

"Wait…. I can´t drive a motorbike…. I´ve never even touched one until now."

"And that thing isn´t gonna start either." Emmett clapped on the bike. "We´re spending some time for the rest of the winter fixing this, and then the spring with teaching you how to drive it."

"We´ve got more inside," Alice said. "Come on."

"Put that in the garage Emmett! There´s a storm coming." Carlisle said, and Emmett took the motorbike from me, and in the blink of an eye he was gone. I walked inside and got my jacket off before walking downstairs.

There was a big cake standing on the table, and presents lying around it. I smiled and sat down, and leaned forward to pick out the first present to unwrap. It was an envelope from Nessie and Bella. I opened it, and found a card, it was a card for going to the dancing studios and lend one of the halls fifteen times, (so I wouldn´t have to pay for that) I thanked the two of them, and moved on. The next present was from Edward and Jasper. Turned out to be a camera.

"Thanks guys, ehrm… as I said earlier, not very good at this…. So… if someone takes a photo of all of us… will I be the only one in it then?" I joked, and immediately had about five pillows thrown at me.

"Sorry, just… just kidding. Hrm." I cleared my throat, to save some time. "Anyways… let´s move on." I laid the camera to the side.

"So Jamie" Emmett spoke up. "What did you think about that gravestone momma and pops got for your brother?"

"It was beautiful" I said. "It… I guess… never mind. Let´s move on." I opened the next present, also that one from Emmett. It turned out to be a leather jacket and a helmet, for driving the motorbike he said. I tried the jacket on, and it turned out to be at least four sizes too big.

"Oh that´s good," Emmett joked. "Because if you keep on eating like you do now, it will soon be too small." This time it was my turn to throw a pillow at Emmett.

"Well." Carlisle said. "I can tell you about another thing. Remember those bills you got from your house just before Christmas?" I nodded. "Well, I´ve paid them, I´m also going to pay any bill that comes to your old house." I opened my mouth protest, paying the bills was my dad´s job, not Carlisle´s.

"But… it will be like thousands… if not more." Seriously, I couldn´t do better than that?"

"I can afford it. You need the money you save on that more than I will not paying it."

"Huh?"

"I´m paying the bills"

"Okay."

"And we have another present we´d like to tell you about!" Esme began. "We thought, that maybe you´d like if we got your room painted in the color you want."

"Yeah sure." I said "That would be really cool." I got the last present from the table, from Alice and Rosalie, and started pulling off the wrapping. It revealed a box.

"Oh great, thanks." I joked. "I´ve always wanted a box." The others chuckled at me, and I started pulling of the tape- pieces to open the box. It revealed a bunch of girly stuff, such as stuff for my hair, a princess diaries- movies and make- up. Immediately, Alice started babbling about how she would put make- up on me, and do my hair. She talked so fast, after just a few seconds I stopped trying to hear what she was saying, and just sat there, nodding and humming.

"Alice." Carlisle spoke up after a couple of minutes, he held up his hands to silent her. "I don´t think Jamie can hear a word of what you´re saying, you´re talking too fast, and anyways. We have still got one present left, and it´s getting late…" Alice nodded, the others started standing up, and I turned around when they all got out on the empty floor.

"I… we think you should listen closely to what we´re singing about." Emmett said. "Here it goes."

_You tell all the boys no  
Makes you feel good  
yeah  
I know you´re out of my league  
But that won´t scare me away  
Oh no_

_You´ve carried own so long  
You couldn´t stop if you tried it  
You´ve built your walls so high  
That no one could climb it  
But I´m gonna try _

_Would you let me  
See beneath your beautiful  
Would you let me  
See beneath your perfect  
Take it off now girl  
Take it off now girl  
I wanna see inside  
Would you let me  
See beneath your beautiful  
Tonight _

_)You let all the girls go  
Makes you feel good  
Don´t it  
Behind your Broadway show  
I heard a voice say please  
Don´t hurt me _

_(Alice)You´ve carried own so long  
You couldn´t stop if you tried it  
(Rosalie)You´ve built your walls so high  
That no one could climb it  
(Esme)But I´m gonna try _

_Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?  
Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl  
I wanna see inside  
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?_

_See beneath, see beneath  
I...Tonight  
I..._

_I'm gonna climb on top your every tower  
I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out  
We'll be falling, falling but that's OK  
'Cause I'll be right here  
I just wanna know_

_Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?  
Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl  
'Cause I wanna see inside  
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight,  
oh, oh, oh, tonight?  
See beneath your beautiful,  
oh, tonight.  
We ain't perfect, we ain't perfect, no.  
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful  
tonight?_

"That was really good." I said. "And… I know what you´re trying to do…. I don´t wanna be rude… but it´s not quite that simple… Can I have a moment to think about what just happened?" I took the presents and walked to my room, but there I didn´t stay.

**Half an hour later, Carlisle pov **

"Carlisle?" Esme asked. "Have you seen Jamie, I can´t find her anywhere." I shook my head.

"No… but…" I stopped when I saw a paper with Jamie´s handwriting on the table. In the matter of a second, I had grabbed it, and read it.

_Needed some fresh air  
Jamie _

I looked outside, and saw that the storm I had predicted was here.

"I´ll go look for her." I walked outside, but the snow, and wind made it hard to feel Jamie´s scent anywhere.

**Jamie pov, twenty minutes earlier**

I wasn´t gonna run so far, but I ran into the forest, onto the road, and I didn´t wanna stop. There was nothing that could stop me now… well… except ice on the ground and too much snow. I slipped and fell in a big pile of snow.

My foot was stuck, and hurt, I felt my ankle hurt, and I surely was stuck in the snow. After I don´t know how long, I collapsed in the snow, my breathing wheezed, I felt my pockets after an inhaler, but couldn´t find one.

"CARLISLE. " I shouted at the top of my lungs. "HEEEEELP, SOMEBODY HELP ME."

**So, that´s it, and this is by far the longest chap I´ve ever written… so… will Carlisle find Jamie in time before something happens… I know.  
Anyways, this is the last chapter I´m writing before my own birthday, tomorrow (June the 28:th) is my 18:th birthday, and I surely hope it gets better than Jamie´s. **


	26. Sick

**If anyone wants to know, I had an awesome birthday. When we come home from Norway, I get to pick out a laptop I want, (the laptop´s I got is from school, and it´s got some studentsystem that´s slowing down- if not crashing the whole thing). Which is so great! And…. I´m not gonna write the whole story, but if you wanna know more about my 18:th birthday, PM me.  
Oh, and at new year´s eve in this story there is a sentence that says J´s having a panic attack from the cold. It was supposed to be asthma attack. **

"Come on Jamie…. Where are you…" as soon as I picked up Jamie´s scent, I started running human speed on the forest- road that led from our driveway. It was still hard picking up her scent because of the storm, but I soon picked it up, until I saw a shaking figure in a pile of snow.

**Jamie pov **

I had stopped trying to loosen my leg from all the snow. It was pointless, I was tired, I was cold, and soon I could barely breathe, and of course, and of course, I had left the inhaler at home, so I collapsed in the snow, trying to breathe as slowly and deep I could.

I managed to get a hang of my breathing, but after laying in the snow, I was soon both wet and really cold. I was getting tired, but I knew I couldn´t fall asleep here, who knows what would happen if I did. But the cold was almost unbearable, that´s when I heard steps. I had to say something, but before I could gather enough energy to raise my voice, Carlisle was next to me, and kneeled down.

"Carlisle?" I mumbled. "I´m stuck." He pulled up my legs of the snow, I groaned when he started with the right one, as my ankle hurt.

"What is it sweetie?" Carlisle was right there again. "Where does it hurt?"

My ankle." Carlisle didn´t even take a look at it.

"I`ll take a look at it, now it´s important that we´ll get you warm." He pulled off his own jacket and pulled it around me, then he lifted me up.

**Carlisle pov**

On the way back home, I didn´t care about running in normal- human speed, I needed to bring Jamie home as soon as possible. And the only ones that could see me, where the few peoples living on this street, and if they could see me through the snow, I would be gone before they had the time to take a closer look, and they were just going to assume that they had seen some more snow or something like that.

Even though it only took a couple of minutes, it felt like it took way too long before we reached our house. When I came inside the door, and downstairs, I started giving the others orders.

"Esme, make hot chocolate, we gotta get some hot fluid in Jamie… Alice, you know these blankets with heating coins in them?" Alice nodded. "Drive to the nearest supermarket and see if you can find one of those. Edward, get that hot- water- bottle. Rosalie, go to her wardrobe, pick out the warmest clothes you can find. Bella, you help Rosalie get the clothes on her. All of you others…" I laid Jamie down in the sofa in the family room, due to the fireplace. This was the warmest place in the house. ":.. The rest of you…. Out." I walked to get my bag while the girls changed Jamie´s wet clothes to warm, dry ones. When I came back to the family room, Jamie sat up in the couch, dressed in sweat pants and a fleece jacket. Though, she was still shaking cold.

**Jamie pov **

I hugged my legs and crouched where I sat, trying to stop shivering. Even though I knew I couldn´t. I was still too cold. And I was so tired, I laid my head down on my knees, but immediately, Carlisle was by my side.

"Come on darling. Stay awake for me now. We need to get you warm, then you can go to sleep." I nodded.

**The next morning**

For some reason, the Cullen´s had decided not to wake me up at Tuesday morning, for the reason of the rough evening before. I didn´t share their opinion, I felt fine. I thought that the cold I´d had the last week, would have escalated- it didn´t- or well, it hadn´t done it when I woke up in the morning. Strange! But when I realized what time it was, I jumped out of bed.

**Carlisle pov **

I was supposed to go to work in a few minutes, but I was waiting a while longer than usual, because in case Jamie would wake up being ill after what happened yesterday, I would see if I would have to stay home.

She had been coughing a bit during the night, but on the other hand, that wasn´t unusual, and maybe that was the reason I wasn´t surprised, when Jamie came up the stairs to the kitchen, apparently in a rush to get to school in time. Currently she was on her way to pull a hoodie on, and the only visible thing caused by the drama yesterday, was the limp, from the sprained ankle.

"Good morning." I said. "So…. How do you feel after yesterday?"

"I feel fine, I gotta get to school."

"Sure you shouldn´t stay home?"

"And let Millie, Mr. Landon and everybody else think I´m a coward. Not in this world? Have the others already left?"

"Yes!... But I could drive you to school on the way to the hospital…" I stood up, and laid my hand on Jamie´s forehead, to make sure she wasn´t lying about that she felt fine. She pulled away from me, but I had felt enough to make sure she didn´t have a fever.

"Look, there is…" she looked at her watch. "Seven minutes until I gotta be outside Mr. Landon´s office, we gotta leave now."

"Fix her a sandwich to go." I told Esme, I knew Esme could do that in a matter of seconds. She nodded and when I came back after getting my bag, Jamie had a sandwich, wrapped in greaseproof paper. Jamie was almost jumping of nervousness and stress. I showed her to go get her coat and beanie cap. And about a minute later we were in the car, and fast, made our way towards Bangor High School.

**Jamie pov **

At one minute to eight, I ran through the doors at school, up the stairs, and to the right corridor. Millie and Mr. Landon already stood there, oh great, one minute late.

"Ho…. Hold on a sec." I turned around so I had my back against the two of them, and searched my pockets for an inhaler. I finally found one in the chest- pocket on the inner- side of my coat. I did what I was supposed to do, and when I could breathe normally again. I turned around towards Millie and Mr. Landon.

"So… where were we?... Oh right, my apology…" I started to save some time. "Look, Millie. I am, so, so sorry that I shouted at you. But… you know…. People had been given me greetings all day. And I hate my birthday, and I was just getting sick of everyone, and I was a bit stressed out and mad about what had happened earlier, at lunch. So, when you came up behind me, I just…. I had had enough, and I wasn´t thinking. I know it´s not an excuse, but…. I am sorry." I stopped, what a pathetic example of an apology

"It´s all right." Millie said. "You´re forgiven, " she reached out her hand and I took and shook it slightly.

"Suppose…. I´d better get to the first class then…" I turned around and walked down the corridor, when I walked through another corridor, I tried taking a bite of the sandwich, but I really felt how non- hungry I was. And I stopped by the first garbage- can and threw the sandwich in it.

"Sorry Esme." I whispered, and kept on walking.

**Early afternoon, Esme pov **

I sat in my and Carlisle´s bed, reading a book when I heard the door open and close, and footsteps. I thought for a second on who would be home now, there were a couple of hours until the children would be home from school, the same with Carlisle getting home from work. But my question was answered, when I heard coughing. There were only one in our family that could cough (except faking cough then.) I stood up, and walked human speed out to the hallway.

" Hey. You´re home early."

**Jamie pov **

"I think I´ve got a temperature. I fell asleep four times in English class, Mr Trey must have seen I was a bit tired, he felt my forehead, and he told me it felt warm." I walked downstairs, and laid down in the sofa. Put the TV on, it was on "story of Tracy Beaker" I half remembered watching this show, back when I lived in Scotland, but before the 15 minutes episode was over, I was asleep.

"Jamie? Jamie?" The next thing I knew, someone was shaking my shoulder, and I heard Carlisle´s voice trying to wake me up.

"Wha…" I began, but was cut off by a massive coughing fit. I sat up. Carlisle handed me my inhaler

**Carlisle pov **

I knew the others would be back soon, so when Jamie was breathing all right again, and leaned against the sofa- pillows. I scooped her up, and carried her over to her room. I wasn´t too worried about Jamie´s condition, she had had a cold the last week, and of course, when she had gotten so cold yesterday. It had been enough to weaken the immune system enough for the cold to break out. Though, I couldn´t understand why it had taken so long to show.

But after all, the cough was what worried me the most, just the slightest cough can get pretty severe for an asthmatic.

"You stay here, call me if something happens. I´ll just go to the hospital and pick up some stuff." I told Esme. The things I would get were just to be safe, no one of us would have expected, for Jamie to be so ill, that she got after a few days.

On Friday morning, just after the kids had left for school. I rushed to Jamie´s room, and I could hear Esme coming right behind me. Jamie sat up in her bed, inhaler in hand.

**Jamie pov **

"It´s…. not…. Wor…. King." I said, about my inhaler between the coughs. I had just done what I was supposed to do with it. But it hadn´t reduced the fact that I couldn´t breathe, and I couldn´t stop coughing. Carlisle was by my side in the matter of a second, he took the inhaler from my hand.

"Come on Jamie, try again." He held it right in front of my face, and I did as I was told. But as the time before, it didn´t work a bit.

"Help." Was the only thing I could manage to say in that moment, and I was starting to get afraid. Would I die now? Of course Carlisle wouldn´t let that happen, but I really couldn´t breathe now.

Carlisle scooped me up in his arms, and ran- vampire speed- to his office, where he laid me down on the hard hospital- bed. He got a machine, and put an oxygen- mask. Then he got a needle, but I didn´t even react when he stuck it into my arm.

**Carlisle pov **

"What are you giving her?"

"Sedatives, it will be easier for her to breathe if she relaxes." I pulled out the needle, but kept a tube stuck in her arm.

"I´ll keep that one there, in that way, I won´t have to stick a new needle in her, in case I would have to give her anything else."

"What would you have to give her?"

"I don´t know yet. I just have a feeling I´ll need it." It took another couple of minutes before Jamie´s breathing slowed down.

And anyway, no one was expecting Jamie to be deathly ill. Because that was but the first sign of that something was worse than I had thought from the beginning.

**Jamie pov **

"Here, you´ve got homework." Emmett threw some books and papers, on the sofa, next to where I laid wrapped in a blanket.

"I´ll do it later." I mumbled. I was too tired to even speak normally, and yet I couldn´t sleep. I had been ill many times, but this time seemed to be worse than any time before. But I kept quiet about that, as I didn´t want to worry the others even more.

During the weekend, I had loads of asthma attacks, and almost every time, Carlisle had to put on that oxygen- machine and give me sedatives to make my breathing slow down. But still, not even I, who felt all this, had expected that I would get so ill that I got at last.

I hadn´t been hungry for about a week or something at Monday morning, but Esme kept on making food- mostly soup- for me, and as I didn´t want Esme to have done all that for nothing, and didn´t want to worry them, I forced it down at every meal. Even though, I could almost always just get down about half of what she had given me. Even though, at Monday, about noon, it all got worse.

I sat in the sofa in the family room, when a sharp pain went through my stomach. I dropped the plate, that fell to the floor with a bang, while I wrapped my arms around my stomach. The next thing I knew, I felt it twisting, and I knew I´d had to get to the bathroom, if not- I would probably vomit all over the living room. I stood up and with a hand pressed over my mouth I ran towards the bathroom. I didn´t bother to even close the door behind me or turn the light on, I ran across the floor, and barely had the time to open the toilet lid before I vomited. Soon, I felt my hair being lifted off my shoulders and neck, I looked up and saw that Carlisle had kneeled down next to me. But I couldn´t look up for long, or speak, before it was time for the next round of retching.

"Sch, you´re okay, I´m right here. Sch, it´s okay." Carlisle almost whispered soothing words. While stroking my back, and holding away the hair from my sweaty forehead, after good three minutes, I couldn´t help myself to crouch in Carlisle´s lap.

"I´m sorry…. I´m sorry." I whimpered.

"Jamie." Carlisle took my head in his hands and forced me to look in his golden eyes. "Never ever apologize for getting sick. It´s not your fault." He scooped me up- for I don´t know which time this week, and carried me back to the sofa.

Later that day, Carlisle put an IV in, to give me fluids. He wanted to take me to the hospital, but I refused, and still. No one thought I was terribly ill.

**Carlisle pov **

It wasn´t until on Tuesday, that I finally understood how ill Jamie really was. I was in my office, doing some paper- work. And the next Esme calling me.

"Oh God, Carlisle come here now!" In a few seconds, I was downstairs, Jamie had blood on her shirt, on her hands, and around her mouth.

"Where did that com…" I thought, but in the next second, Jamie was coughing up more blood.

And then I finally understood, I needed to get Jamie to the hospital immediately, she was more sick than anyone would have expected from the start.

**Yes I know, I´m the world´s most evil person for leaving it there. MOHAHAHAHA. **  
**OH, you know what? I´m making a story about the Cullen´s chatting. And I really, really need some tips on what Carlisle, Esme, Bella, Nessie, Edward, Rosalie and Jacob call themselves while chatting on the net. **


End file.
